Hiding your misdeeds

Nice sharing by a nun

I remember a Dharma friend from Yunnan who loved to talk profusely about the view of emptiness in front of many young Tulkus from Yarchen Monastery.  One day, one of the little Tulku suddenly went ballistic. When this Dharma friend started spouting his high views on emptiness again, the little Tulku took up a flask containing hot water and started throwing the water in his direction.  That Chinese monk was slightly scalded and started shrieking in pain.  The little Tulku pointed out, “Where’s your emptiness now?”

One day, when I was chatting with Ah Song Tulku Rinpoche, the topic turned to this monk.  Ah Song Tulku Rinpoche said that on one occasion he told this monk to confess the negative karma of having hit someone in the past.  The monk insisted that he had never hit anyone before.  Ah Song Tulku Rinpoche then stated bluntly that if the monk did not confess this sin in front of him right away, in the future, on a certain day of a certain month of a certain year, the monk would take rebirth as a kind of insect in a tree in a certain place.  (Ah Song Tulku spelt out the exact time and place.)

The monk got a huge shock and quickly made a confession to Ah Song Tulku on the spot, saying, “I am sorry, I am sorry. I once hit a ground-sweeper at Mount Jizu (Yunnan)”  

Often, when we have committed a sin, we are not aware of it or have forgotten about it. Sometimes we deliberately hide it.  Nonetheless, our subtlest thoughts are known by many beings.  It goes without saying for the holy beings, but even many worldly beings possess this ability.

This little bit of confidence

Yangthang Rinpoche

Please trust and follow the principle of cause-and-effect. Although we have obtained a human life, there is not much time remaining.  Before long, we will become a bardo being.  When entering the bardo, if we can bring along some merits, that is very important. 

Do not underestimate — thinking that this merit is very small or that virtue is not big.  Whether the merit is small or little does not matter, just continue on practicing virtues.

Heavy negative karma starts from small non-virtues. It is not easy to purify heavy karmas, so you should not create even the smallest non-virtues.  Avoid all non-virtues, create all virtues, purify your own mind.

Follow the law of cause-and-effect.  One day, when we 'go home', we will feel more confident, remembering that we have accumulated some little merits in our pockets and that we can bring some of these along. 

In brief, our minds need this little bit of confidence. Then it will be useful and excellent.

 

How to see if good/bad fortune is coming?

Khenchen Yeshe Phuntsok

Just by looking at someone’s behaviour and actions, you can certainly see if good fortune is coming to him/her soon. You can use this method to gauge your own future.  If your afflictions are gradually decreasing and your wish to benefit others is getting stronger, it is a sure predictor that your fortunes are on the rise.

If your afflictions increase and negative thoughts keep proliferating, it's a sign that you're heading to the lower realms, and your future is quite dire.

The same applies when observing others. If a person becomes more humble, respectful, and kind, they have a bright future; if they are mean, arrogant, and love to take advantage of others, they are bound to face calamities in the future.

Similarly, when disaster is about to strike, you will see that this person's behavior trends towards non-virtue.  This serves as an early warning.

If you wish to gain good fortune and avoid sufferings, then before talking about doing good deeds, you must first correct your own faults.

The Power of the Four Contemplations

 Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche:

To get this precious human life is not easy. In this short life, what we need is to create the causes for a future of eternal happiness. 

But should we not practice diligently, although we have already attained this opportunity to create such a future, impermanence which is hanging ominously over our heads all the time can arrive at any time and take away this chance.  Therefore, it is not wise to be lazy and procrastinate...

This applies to me too. I have received many prophecies and recognitions from numerous eminent masters.  But I have never neglected my own practice. I have never thought, "I am the mind emanation of Guru Rinpoche or the emanation of some Tulku, therefore I can put aside my practice today." I have never given rise to such thoughts of complacency.

So, while I tell others to practice in a down to earth manner, I have pushed myself to do the same. Because all of us will disappear from this world one day. 

Today, it seems like our lives are so luxurious and comfortable. But who knows how long this window of happiness and comfort will last?  Sometimes, when I sit by my window and watch people passing to and fro daily, they seem to think that they can live forever. But not at all, no. This is just temporary. One day, they will not be able to return to their habitual way of life even if they wanted to enjoy it as usual.

So, why do people not try to accomplish something truly useful? Of course, we are always busy about affairs of this life, without stopping day or night. We work to improve our lives. But at the same time, we are not permanent owners of this life, one day we will vanish from Earth. At that time, what is truly useful is of course liberation from birth-and-death. So why do we not prepare for this?

Seeing this situation, I feel even more compassion for sentient beings. They are really so ignorant of their own plight.  At present, they don't see what is truly necessary. Some people with heavy afflictions even go so far as to say that Buddhism is just some stupid superstitions. 

Yes, sometimes I tell people, we Buddhists might be a little stupid sometimes. But we are not so stupid as to not even know what is the right thing to do. From past till present, from Buddha Shakyamuni's time till now, for more than 2500 years, could all these many Buddhist practitioners have been stupid people?

I don't think so. Especially for the great lineage masters who are completely at ease and in total control when facing the moment of death— they can leave this world with such freedom and independence.  If these great masters are stupid, then I think it is worthwhile to be stupid like them. Because it is quite useful, when alive, they are happy and at peace; when facing death, they are even more carefree.  In future lives, they enjoy unlimited freedom and happiness. We should try to be stupid in this way...

If you have a little time to practice Dharma, then use whatever time you have fully.  If you have much time to practice Dharma, but you let it slip away in an unconcerned manner, then it is not that good. At such times, think of the precious human life and impermanence...

I have received the entire breadth of teachings from Lama Achuk Rinpoche from the Hinayana to the highest pinnacle of the nine yanas.  In my practice, I utilize the teachings from all yanas. But nothing is more powerful than the four contemplations for giving me the naturally arising impetus to practice Dharma.  

So while I myself practice this daily, I also advise all practitioners to make this a mainstay of their practice. 

Sometimes when I think of the great practitioners in their isolated mountain retreats, I wonder if they truly do not feel any loneliness.  The conditions in such retreats are quite awful.  Their dwellings are very uncomfortable with holes everywhere allowing the cold winds to penetrate, very far from the comfortable conditions we enjoy now. Do they really enjoy such privations? Their food must be very simple, do they really not wish for more delicious or nutritious foods?

Were they all people who had characteristics of practitioners right from birth? I don't think so. They are exactly the same as us. They also wish to enjoy nice homes, enjoy a good life and to have delicious foods of all kinds.  But why do they choose such a hard life, and moreover, persist in it for their entire lives?

What is the power driving them?  They are humans just like us.  Whatever pleasures we look for, they too wish for the same. So, it is the four contemplations that gives them the deep motivation to dwell in isolated mountain retreats and practice with a quiet mind. 

Due to the four contemplations, they are able to bear with all kinds of worldly deprivations while doing their practice, not feeling that anything is lacking.  They do not feel lonely in the slightest. 

Today, even one or two hours spent alone in practice is quite arduous for us. Why is this happening? Because the four contemplations have not sunk in deeply enough in our minds.  With the four contemplations, I believe that even if you practice for many hours, or even if you feel unwell and in pain during your sessions, the presence of the four contemplations will give you the strength to make it through easily and naturally. 

Therefore, the four contemplations are indispensable.

(Four contemplations are:

1. Precious Human Life

2. Impermanence

3. Cause and Effect

4. Sufferings of samsara

Refer to “Words of My Perfect Teacher” by Patrul Rinpoche for more details)

Power of Antidote — Purification

Asanga, Abhidharma-samuccaya:

When a person creates a powerful antidote (that counteracts) the karma arising from the five non-virtuous mental afflictions, the future (result of) experiencing the hell-realms (in future lives) will instead be experienced in the present life, by the strength of the antidote.  And whatever (future negative results) that is to be experienced in this present life will instead not be experienced at all.

Remembering the Guru is the most important thing

Told by a disciple of Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche:

Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche once shared a story: There was an ordinary monk who had been at Yarchen Monastery for a year or two. Due to illness, he went to Kangding for treatment. Later, feeling that he couldn’t be cured, he asked his family to take him back to Yarchen. He passed away on the way back to Yarchen. After arriving at Yarchen, his family asked Rinpoche to perform the Powa ritual to transfer his consciousness.

After observing through his meditative equipoise, Rinpoche said that because this monk had been recalling his Guru in his heart when he died, his mind remained in a state of thugdam (post-death meditative equipoise). By right, this monk had the ability to go to the pureland on his own, but because his corpse was touched by someone who had broken samayas/vows, he was polluted by that negative energy and couldn’t go to the pureland by himself.

However, as his mind remained in a state of meditative equipoise, through Rinpoche’s blessings and guidance, he eventually went to a pureland.

This monk’s older brother, who was a Khenpo (professor of Dharma), also passed away not long after. Similarly, the family requested Rinpoche to perform the Powa ritual. After observing through his meditation, Rinpoche found that Khenpo’s mind was very chaotic and unable to think of the Guru. Rinpoche said that if no pujas and prayers were dedicated for this Khenpo, he would fall into the lower realms.

When Rinpoche told this story, he was visibly moved and said: “Remembering the Lama is really the most, most important thing!”

~~

About Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche

Lama Achuk Rinpoche said, “ Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche is the emanation of one of the 25 disciples of Guru Rinpoche, the one who is no different from Guru Rinpoche himself, Yudra Nyingpo… at present, Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche possesses all the qualities of Yudra Nyingpo in his body, speech and mind without exception.

“Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche and his predecessor Namgyal Tulku are not only my recognition, it was stated in Guru Rinpoche’s prophecy. I am the rebirth of Guru Rinpoche’s emanation Longsal Nyingpo. As proof of this, Amitabha Buddha appears above my crown among other signs. Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche and Ah Song Tulku Rinpoche are my emanations. Anyone who makes a connection with Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche is making a connection with me. I hereby bestow him the name, Jigme Kunzang Namgyal.”

Within a year of relying upon Lama Rinpoche, Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche attained the realization of seeing the peaceful deities in a state of luminosity—the level of semblance luminosity (clear light) on the path of preparation (among the five paths).

The next year, Rinpoche saw the yabyum forms of deities in his state of luminosity. Duality of subject and object dissolved completely into the Dharmadhatu of self-nature. Rinpoche realized the ineffable state of actual luminosity (clear light), entering the ranks of the Arya beings.

Later, Rinpoche was selected by Lama Rinpoche to enter the three-year retreat. Through his diligent practice day and night without flagging, his experience progressed swiftly and he completely perfected all four visions of Dzogchen Thogal.

In his hometown, Rinpoche entered further retreat practicing dream luminosity and purified the most subtlest of obscurations or ignorance. He attained the highest level of non-meditation where the distinction between meditation and non-meditation has fallen apart, day and night became equal for him, in other words, the attainment of Buddhahood.

His Guru, Lama Achuk Rinpoche, praised him highly, “Even among the great masters in India, few has reached your level of realization. Only HH Jigme Phuntsok Rinpoche of Serthar Monastic Institute can dispel all misconceptions about (your attainment).” Lama Rinpoche further said to the head manager of Yarchen Monastery, “Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche’s realization and qualities are no different from those of the 84 Mahasiddhas of India.”

Later on, when Lama Rinpoche led Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche to meet HH Jigme Phuntsok Rinpoche to receive HH’s confirmation, Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche offered his realization to HH who said, “This is the level that only the Tathagatas possess.” And so it was that Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche and Ah Song Tulku Rinpoche became the youngest qualified Dzogchen teachers that the lineage history has ever seen.

More teachings on Vajrasattva

Khenpo Kathar Rinpoche:

IMPORTANCE OF PURIFICATION

Once you purify wrongdoing and obscurations, it is actually easy to generate meditation experience and realization. For example, if you are meditating upon the path of method, which is to say the six dharmas of Naropa, it was said by the mahasiddha Taklung Thangpa, who founded the Taklung Kagyu, that the best way to ensure the successful generation of bliss and warmth is to accomplish the practice of Vajrasattva.

If you wish to practice meditation on a wrathful deity, such as Gonpo Bemakchen or Palden Lhamo, and if you have engaged in the purification practice of Vajrasattva, then there will be no obstacle arising when you pursue the main practice and it will only be a source of benefit for yourself and others. It will go smoothly and there will be no upheaval.

In short, the cause of everything that goes wrong for us — our sickness, demons, and afflictions of all kinds — is our previous wrongdoing and obscurations.

Often, we become somewhat superstitious and say, "I am experiencing an obstacle. Where did this obstacle come from? Oh no, an obstacle!" But all obstacles stem from our own previous wrongdoing, therefore it says in the text, "If you have no wrongdoing and obscuration, then how could sickness or obstacles ever arise for you? Where would they come from?"

That is why Vajrasattva practice is the single most effective and most profound method of averting obstacles and misfortune. When we do any practice and yet do not experience the results described in the practice manuals, it is because we are obscured, because we have not gone through the necessary practice of purification.

This is because the signs or indications of the practice we are attempting are in fact themselves obscured by our obscurations. Therefore, the most profound single method for increasing our realization and our experience of purity or sacredness is the Vajrasattva meditation.

The only reason that we do not see Mahamudra, that we do not see the nature of our mind as it is right now, is because of our obscurations, which in this case stem from what is called connate, or coemergent, ignorance.

If we remove those obscurations, which can be done most effectively through the practice of Vajrasattva, there is nothing preventing us from seeing the nature of our mind as it is, and we will.

Therefore there is no more profound method of generating realization of Mahamudra than the Vajrasattva practice…

(In the text Rinpoche is explaining, it states) "There is no point in my continuing to say the same thing in many other ways. In short, it is taught that you can attain full Buddhahood through this method of Vajrasattva practice alone. Therefore… practice it.”

~~

ESSENCE OF ALL DEITIES

In the most extensive form of Vajrayana practice, which is the practice of the combined mandala of the Eight Herukas, there are 725 deities. The essence of the 725 deities is the 100 peaceful and wrathful deities. The essence of the 100 peaceful and wrathful deities is what is called the 25 deities, or 25 families, and the essence of this is the five buddhas, each of which has a fourfold retinue. The essence of the five buddhas is Vajrasattva, who is called the all-embracing single family.

Therefore, it is understood that by meditating on Vajrasattva you are simultaneously meditating on all deities, all buddhas, and all mandalas. By accomplishing, or realizing, Vajrasattva you accomplish or realize all deities, all mandalas, and all buddhas.

Therefore, this very secret practice of Vajrasattva is considered to be the essence of all of the tantras and teachings of the Eight Herukas and the peaceful and wrathful deities.

~~

The usual number that is given for the effective recitation of the Vajrasattva hundred-syllable mantra is 100,000.

It is also taught that nowadays all of the numbers that are found in the tantras need to be multiplied by four. The reason for this is that we live in a time of degeneration, which means that our afflictions are much stronger. We engage in much more wrongdoing in general than people did in the past.

At the same time, our faith has actually decreased, so while we have more to purify, it is harder for us to purify anything because of our attitude. Therefore, it is taught that it is best if you can recite the mantra 400,000 times; this will be extremely effective.

Even if someone has committed a root violation of samaya, which is a fundamental violation of the commitments of Vajrayana, if they recite the hundred-syllable mantra 400,000 times, unmixed with other speech (which means that they are doing it in formal meditation sessions, not just reciting it while they are walking around and talking), their violation will be purified. This is taught in both the old, or Nyingma, and the new, or Sarma, traditions.

At this point Chakme Rinpoche offers a compassionate concession to the needs of individuals. He says that if you find the hundred syllable mantra too difficult to recite, you may recite the six-syllable mantra, OM BENZA SATO HUNG , 600,000 times, and it will have an equivalent effect of purification.

Karma Chakme Rinpoche now describes why one might want to do such purification. It is taught that someone who has committed a root violation of samaya in this lifetime will be reborn in a specific hell realm.

In the sutras this hell realm is called Shambhala hell, and in the tantras it is called vajra hell. It is said to be to the northeast of Avichi, which is the lowest of the eight regular hot hells. It is seven times worse than the worst of the eighteen regular hell realms. It is a state of inconceivably great suffering that is completely uninterrupted.

We do not even know how truly bad it is or how long it lasts because the Buddha refused to speak of it in detail. The reason he refrained from describing this hell was that he found that when he started to talk about it, bodhisattvas, out of their compassion for beings, started to vomit blood and die on the spot.

Nevertheless, all of the violations of samaya and other wrongdoing that we have engaged in that might cause us to be reborn in this hell will be purified and you will not be reborn in that hell realm if the Vajrasattva practice is conducted with a clear visualization and with the full number of the six-syllable or hundred-syllable mantra. This was taught in The Vajrapani Tantra.

For people like ourselves who are afflicted by a large amount of ferocious or intense wrongdoing, this instruction of Vajrasattva is more valuable than a hundred or even a thousand wish-fulfilling jewels. Legend tells us that there exists a wish-fulfilling jewel that will fulfill any wishes upon request, but this practice is even more precious than that because it can purify or remove the fundamental reason behind all of our suffering.

~~

SIGNS OF PURIFICATION

When you do a practice such as Vajrasattva—that is, a practice of purification—there are likely to be indications in your experience of something happening, some kind of change occurring in you.

These indications can take different forms. What is explained in the text are indications that we would normally find pleasant and that we would assume mean that the practice is going well, and they do. You should not, however, think that everyone is definitely going to have the same experience of the practice.

The typical signs described in the text are that you will feel physically well; you will feel vigorous, tranquil, and at ease. At the same time, your mind will become clearer than it was before.

You will experience an attitude of renunciation because you will experience a recognition of the futility of samsara and the value of liberation. At the same time, you will have greater faith or confidence through an appreciation of the qualities of the Three Jewels and a wish to attain those qualities yourself.

Also, some kind of meditation experience or possibly realization will arise apparently spontaneously within you through doing the practice. For some individuals there will be experiences like this, which occur in the waking state, or direct experiences of the mind.

For others there will be dreams that indicate that you are going through a process of purification, for example dreaming that you are washing, or putting on bright or white, new, clean clothes. You could dream that you are drinking some kind of ambrosia or milk, or dream that you are flying. All of these are considered to be indications, in this context, of purification.

You could have all kinds of positive experiences like that, an increase in your experience of sacredness, and so on.

Not everyone is going to experience purification as a pleasant thing. Because purification is the removal of the imprints of previous wrongdoing, you could experience it as somewhat unpleasant.

You could find that your mind is becoming more and more agitated as you continue the practice. You could actually even experience some kind of external upheaval in the circumstances of your life. It is natural for us, when this happens, to assume that we are doing something wrong, that we are doing the practice wrong or that we are not doing it enough or something like that, otherwise these bad things would not happen. That is not necessarily the case.

Do not forget that when you are doing a practice like Vajrasattva, because you are purifying your previously accumulated negative karma, that karma may show up in your life.

This is like washing dirty clothes. When you immerse dirty clothes in the washing solution, initially they seem to get even dirtier because the dirt starts to emerge from them, and they may even smell. But they are not getting dirtier; this is the beginning of the dirt coming out of the clothes.

If these experiences arise for you while you are doing a purification practice, be patient. Recognize that it is the eradication of negative karma, not the accumulation of it, and continue to do the practice.

~~

Shechen Gyaltsab Rinpoche:

By confessing one’s negative deeds in this way, concentrating on the four powers, signs of purification will occur in one’s dreams, as listed in the Incantation of the Goddess Cundā:

If in one’s dreams one vomits rotten food, drinks yoghurt and milk, sees the sun and moon, travels through space, sees a blazing fire, is capable of taming wild buffalos and negative forces, sees an assembly of monks and nuns, climbs on top of a tree with milky sap, on an elephant, bull, mountain, lion throne, or palace, hears the Dharma, and so forth, one is free of negative acts.

Other dreams may occur that one is bathing, wearing white clothes, has a vision of the teacher and yidam deity, hears their teachings, and so on.

And in reality as well, all kinds of qualities of the path may take birth in one’s mind stream—a feeling of contentment, clear awareness, an increase in one’s virtuous activities, the effortless arising of wisdom and compassion, and so on.

Jamgon Kongtrul Lodro Thaye:

The signs of having purified misdeeds are explained in the texts. Some particular ones include your body becoming light and needing little sleep, experiencing good health and a clear mind, having some experiences and realizations, and so forth.

Only Criterion for Attaining Liberation

Disciple's question: 

 

My health is very poor. I had almost died from heart attacks on several occasions. One time, when this happened, I prayed to Guru strongly.  I took refuge in the Triple Gems and vowed to benefit sentient beings to repay the kindness of the Buddha. After praying repeatedly this way, I saw refuge field of the Guru, that is, you yourself appearing above my head.  You were smiling.  This appearance was much clearer than my usual visualization of the refuge field. My question is: had I died at that moment, would I have attained liberation?

 

Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche:

 

If one can truly do what was said here, you will attain liberation for sure.  What is the reason? Although the Guru appears as human, you consider the Guru as a Guru and not as a friend. If you consider the Guru your friend, and think of this friend while you are dying, then this is a fault. 

 

But if you remember the Guru at that point, and since the Guru is considered to be a Buddha, isn't it?  What you think of is the Guru, only that the appearance is a human being or the teacher who guided you.  Then, in your mind, you consider this person a Guru or a Buddha.  If you are able to do this when you are dying, attaining liberation is considered a done deal. You can rest assured of this a thousand or million times over. 

 

I often tell this story. When we were at the meditation center, there was an old monk.  His health had been quite poor for some time. One night, this monk's health took a turn for the worse. I couldn't enter the room as there were many other monks gathered around the doorway of his room, including some monks from his hometown. I heard that the monk could barely speak at that point. There was an experienced Tibetan doctor there.  The doctor also confirmed that his situation was quite grave.  

 

It was quite late then. But I thought it would be good to inform Guru (Lama Achuk Rinpoche) of this monk's situation.  I rushed there and Guru was about to retire for the night.  I told Guru that the monk was seriously ill and the doctor said that he would probably not make it to the next morning. Lama Rinpoche did a divination and passed me some Tibetan medicine. Guru said that this medicine might save the old monk. Guru also instructed me to tell those monks to recite particular prayers.  

 

Guru also emphasized to me repeatedly to remind this old monk by his ear that whether he should live or die, his purpose for coming to Yarchen Monastery was to attain liberation and the only criterion for attaining liberation is to pray to the Guru. Therefore, he must not forget the Guru for even a moment, whether he lives or dies. Guru told me to make sure to remind the old monk this, by his ear, again and again, even if the monk cannot speak. 

 

I went back and passed the medicine to the monk's brother.  The old monk did not even have any strength to open his mouth.  His younger brother took in the medicine with his own mouth and mouth-fed it to the old monk.  The old monk was very weak as he had not taken food for three days. I said by his ear, "I just went to Guru and informed him of your situation.  Guru said that whether you live or die, the main purpose of coming to Yarchen and following the Guru is to attain liberation. The only criterion for attaining liberation is to pray to the Guru. So, no matter what happens, whether it is good or bad, never forget the Guru for even a moment!"

 

The old monk gazed at me as if he wanted to say something. I placed my ear by his mouth as I couldn't hear him at all. He told me that since his illness worsened Guru had already personally appeared to his inner state.  This appearance of Guru was even clearer than the usual appearance of Guru.  From the first moment since his illness worsened, this old monk had not felt the slightest fear, but instead felt immense joy.  

 

The moment I heard this, I felt incredibly touched. He looked like an ordinary old monk, but when facing death, he had achieved this.  He was truly a Buddha/Bodhisattva while he was alive; even when facing death, he was a Buddha/Bodhisattva. Apart from this, what other kinds of Buddha/Bodhisattva should we look for?

 

Worldly dharmas and Liberation

 Jamyang Rinpoche

Many people who practice Dharma now do not learn the authentic teachings, instead, they diligently pursue things that are contrary to Dharma. What they should practice are the 84,000 teachings taught by Buddha. What they should not pursue are worldly practices that have been mixed into the Buddhadharma. 

Most Dharma practitioners mix worldly pursuits and liberation together. Many people cannot distinguish between the two. If this manner of practice continues, Buddhism will end up in chaos.

Worldly dharma and liberation are opposite. Worldly dharma entangles you in afflictions, making you go round the wheel of samsara endlessly. Practicing worldly dharma entraps one further in the cycle of rebirth. On the other hand, liberating Dharma is for ending afflictions and being freed from samsara.

The two are in direct opposition. The former leads to more afflictions, while the latter leads to an end of afflictions. Therefore, combining worldly dharma and liberating dharma results in conflict and confusion. Many people can’t distinguish between the two and mistakenly believe that both can be accomplished harmoniously.

Sutra of the Observation of Virtuous and Non-virtuous Karmas

Then, Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva Mahasattva said to Stable Faith Bodhisattva Mahasattva: 

 "Virtuous son, listen attentively and I will explain it to you. After the Buddha's parinirvana, in these dark times, many monks, nuns, laymen, and laywomen lack conviction and faith in the workings of cause-and-effect whether it is for samsara or beyond samsara. 

They do not contemplate impermanence, suffering, non-self, and the unclean nature of things, thus realization does not arise. Due to not diligently contemplating these teachings, they are ultimately not able to avoid the ten root non-virtues. They are unable to generate faith in the qualities and attainments of the Triple Gems.  They lack direction on how to proceed within the three vehicles. 

When such individuals face various hindrances, their worries, doubts and regrets intensify.  Their minds are unclear no matter where they go; their many desires generate further sufferings. Many (worldly) affairs entangle them, they act in a chaotic manner, their thoughts are jumbled and mixed up, and they waste their cultivation.

~~

Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva:

Virtuous son, future beings who seek liberation from birth, old age, sickness, and death, and who aspire to cultivate meditation and wisdom without attributes, should first observe the amount and severity of negative karmas accumulated in past lives. If the negative karmas are numerous and heavy, they should not immediately engage in the practices of meditation and wisdom; instead, they should first engage in the practice of confession and purification. 

Why is this necessary? It is because such individuals have strong negative habitual tendencies from past lives. Therefore, it follows that they will commit many negative karmas and transgressions of the parajikas (root vows, or “defeats”) in the present life. Due to transgressing these parajikas, should they not purify themselves completely through confession before practicing meditation and wisdom, they will encounter many obstacles that they cannot overcome. Perhaps they may lose their minds or become confused, or be afflicted by external negative forces, or be led astray by wrong teachings, or increase their wrong views. 

Therefore, they should first practice confession and purification. Once their precepts have been restored to purity, and their negative karmas from past lives have been weakened considerably, they will be freed from all obstacles.

Repeated listening and contemplation

Geshe Thubten Palzang

All of you are old students. If you're thinking, "I've heard this teaching before and it's not necessary to listen to it again!"—that's not a correct attitude. 

Learning Buddhism isn't like learning to drive or cook. Once you've learned driving or cooking, you simply put it into action with your hands or legs. But with Dharma, even if you have understood the concepts, the practice is about cultivating your mind.  The mind has to habituate to a new way of thinking or perceiving. That's why you must repetitively familiarize the mind with new Dharmic habits.

Take cultivating compassion for instance. The power of compassion grows stronger through repeated contemplation on this topic. The more you think about it, the stronger your compassion becomes. 

It is the same for anger. If someone keeps talking behind your back, repeating the same old criticisms of you over and over again, the more you get to hear about it, the more anger builds up. 

By the same logic, even if you've heard the same Dharma teachings before, if you engage in contemplation while listening, the more times you listen, the stronger the power of virtue in your mind.

Doing analytical or investigative meditation will enhance the power of virtue in your mind. Besides that, regularly listening to Dharma, reading Dharma texts, or even expressing your understandings in writing are all usable methods to reinforce and increase the virtue in our mind. 

In truth, Buddhist practices are mostly about training our minds. For me, one reason for teaching the Dharma is also to habituate my own mind to the Dharma. So, regardless of whether you've heard these teachings before, it's essential to listen repeatedly and contemplate the teachings again and again.

~~

Geshe la is recognized as an extraordinary teacher and meditator, having done numerous retreats over the last 20 years. This experience has resulted in Geshe-la being known for his profound comprehension of emptiness, and unique style of teaching which transforms some of the most difficult philosophical concepts to become easily understood and accessible.

The power of creating virtues

Khenpo Yeshe Phuntsok

Why do we need to act with more virtue?  Because each time you have a virtuous thought, your body’s subtle energy channels open up and your heart opens up. The more virtues you do, the more your heart opens, and the greater the power of your practice becomes so that results come fast.  

There is a direct correlation between creating virtues and the three activities of listening, contemplation and meditation. Even Amitabha Buddha needed to continuously perform virtues while he was on the path so that he could create his pureland.  Otherwise, it would not have been possible.

Engaging in non-virtue, acting against your own conscience or against universal principles of truth, carrying out shameless deeds all cause the mind to be enveloped by darkness and become closed. For example, if you steal something and do not confess/purify, this karma will obscure you, making it difficult to read or understand Dharma teachings. 

If you get into a fight, tell lies, sow discord, or show disrespect to those who have higher qualities than you or who are more senior or elderly, your mind will immediately be covered by this karma as this contravenes the universal order of things. Such actions do not align with your conscience. On a deeper level, they go against your Buddha nature and are a perverted form of conduct. 

Not only will this inevitably lead to retribution, but it will also immediately distort your mind, causing your subtle winds, energy channels and drops to degenerate, your body and mind become increasingly unhealthy.  Needless to say, it will be impossible to truly resonate with the Dharma.

The importance of accumulating merits lies here. When you help others today, your heart will open, become brighter and calmer. The more you do such good deeds, the easier it is to achieve the path. Attaining Buddhahood is indeed very difficult, but if you have accumulated a great deal of worldly merits, it becomes much easier.

You can also experience this yourself. When you cultivate kind thoughts and actions, isn't your mind peaceful and at ease?  This is the working of interdependence — because you are functioning in accord with your Buddha nature, favourable conditions naturally arise.  Conversely, if you harbor many negative thoughts and actions, each one will obscure your true nature, making it impossible to advance in your practice. 

Even if your practice seems to improve temporarily, committing a heavy negativity will immediately cause you to regress, making it impossible to sustain your attainment or progress further. However, if your virtue and merits are strong, your heart opens, obscurations clear up and signs of accomplishments quickly appear.

Therefore, before the main practice, it is crucial to accumulate merits and purify negativities as a preliminary. With the support of these practices, one gradually opens the heart, increasing favourable factors; and eliminate obstacles, reducing negative factors. 

One negative karma can bind the mind in knots; if it is not untied, it will always trouble you. Many people do not understand this principle and act recklessly, leading to no progress in their practice.

Realistic about death

Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche:

Ask yourself how painful it is for you to give up one small thing now. It will be infinitely more difficult when you have to give up everything when you die. Unless you have a very high view, or the realisation of dependent-arising with the nature of emptiness, it is very very difficult to die (without this mental suffering of losing everything). Even if you know theoretically about emptiness. Even a three-year-old child understands the word "emptiness". The sky is empty, the child knows this. But knowing this word "empty" doesn't make any difference.

~~

It is at the point of death that everyone feels the most vulnerable and helpless. So don't cheat yourself. If you deceive yourself now, the time of death will be filled with immense suffering.

Interview with a Shamatha retreatant

An interview with Venerable Rene about his two and a half years of retreat in the mountains of Spain.

Tell us, why you went into retreat, René.

I think at some point when one studies Dharma one wants the experience to be deeper, one wants some taste of it. That’s the main reason I decided to do a longer retreat. And when the idea came about, Lama Zopa Rinpoche said, “That’s a very good idea, but first you do the nine preliminary practices.” I had the opportunity to do a three-year retreat with a Kargyu group of people, but Rinpoche said it’s more beneficial to do the retreat alone. I was 22 years old at the time; I was ready to do a three-year retreat in a group, but I didn’t feel ready to do it alone.

The nine preliminary practices took me seven or eight years, because some are difficult to organize, like the tsa-tsas and the water bowls. I did them in a retreat situation, but in between I would study at Nalanda Monastery in France.

One thing that is very important is to have studied thoroughly before retreat, to be clean-clear about what you are doing; to know what you aim at and what practice you are doing, and to have had all the teachings clear, and to know the antidote to the problems when they arise. So when you are in retreat you don’t need so much help from teachers. You’re completely clear. I found this very helpful. Eventually I was ready to start the actual retreat. I would have preferred to do it in the East, because of the blessing, but it’s more difficult to arrange visa-wise, so I went to Osel Ling in Spain.

You didn’t do a Great Retreat?

I didn’t do that type. In the morning I would do prayers, like Lama Chöpa or Lama Tsong Khapa Guru Yoga. I would change from time to time so that the mind wouldn’t get too bored. And then I would meditate on the lam-rim, the various stages of the path to enlightenment. And in the afternoon I would do the generation stage of the deity.

Every day like this?

Yes, every day like that.

So you didn’t have a commitment?

I didn’t have a commitment to do a certain practice. The idea was to become familiar with the whole path. Eventually my main emphasis was to develop more concentration, because I felt that was the key. If you don’t have some concentration, you don’t get anywhere. If you want to go deeper into something, you have to have concentration.

How did you do that?

First I studied carefully the explanations for developing single-pointed concentration, shamatha. I had the notes from a teaching by Geshe Lama Konchog of Kopan, and the teaching from the book by Gen Lam-rimpa...

Usually I would practice concentration in the context of the sadhana. Each time there’s an absorption of the guru in your heart, I would stop there and meditate on either the clear nature of the mind or on emptiness, taking either of them as the object of concentration. And then again during the actual generation stage of the deity.

How long would your session be?

Well, my session would take the whole afternoon, basically. Because I would just meditate as long as my mind was fresh. Whenever the mind was tired, I would take fifteen or twenty minutes’ break, walking around, and then I would go back to the session, to the point in the sadhana where I had stopped. My sadhana would therefore take the whole afternoon, the whole evening.

Basically, you’d do one session?

Yes, but with breaks.

You just decided to do it that way?

Yes, I just decided like that.

How much of this time were you actually concentrating? And did it grow and grow?

The emphasis was not on the duration of the session of concentration. I was mainly interested in getting the quality of the concentration, by first finding the object of meditation an then staying on it; then having the mindfulness that observes whether excitement or dullness comes about, then applying the antidotes. And finally, when the mind can stay there without ever going away, to settle down, sticking there.

When you first enter into retreat you have lots of distractions because of the memories of what you did before – you know, your experiences with people, with parents, with relatives. During the first six months all these images come up in your session, what you did or what you said, so one of the main things you are doing is letting go of the past.

After six months, since there’s been no more input of information, the mind simply calms down by itself without much effort, simply due to lack of information. So, just naturally you reach a certain mental peace without having done anything for it. But other things arise in the mind. At the beginning, you know the cause of the memory that arises, but as time goes by, it seems that things come from much deeper, and you don’t remember the causes. So you have moods arising, and it’s a bit awkward, because you don’t know the cause. But you know it’s some past experience that comes up, which you purify.

Would you label this experience as a delusion?

Delusion, no, I wouldn’t necessarily say that…well, yes, delusion in the sense that it’s not clarity. But it can be mental dullness, it can be sleepiness, it can be manifesting more as moods, not necessarily desire or attachment or anger. It would be heaviness of mind, for example, or lack of enthusiasm, the mind being a bit low, and you don’t have any reason for it, it just kind of happens. Or restlessness, so you cannot stay sitting; you have to walk. And there doesn’t seem to be a reason for it. Also, you would also have moments of great clarity, great lucidity. What’s sometimes difficult is that you don’t see a direct link of cause and effect between what you’re doing as a practice and these states of mind. They just happen. You just have to let go and accept them. At least it was like that for me; I don’t know how it is for other people.

What does this indicate to you?

Well, for me it indicates that this spiritual practice is a very long journey, not something that you do in a few years or even a few dozens of years. It is something that would take a whole life, thirty, forty years of constant work – many lifetimes, in fact. Sometimes in the West we think that after a few three-year retreats, you become a lama, or you’re almost Buddha! But what we’re working with is beginningless habits – it’s not just the habits of this life. They are deeply ingrained ways of behaving, ways of seeing life, and these concepts can’t be overcome by just a few years of a retreat.

Anyway, it makes you more realistic to think this way, and the mind becomes more relaxed with that attitude, more happy. Because sometimes it can make the mind unhappy to think, Oh, I have to get there quickly, quickly, quickly. But if you feel you have plenty of time, and you do well each moment, you can do the best you can each moment, it gives you some peace. Of course, for people who have done a lot of practice in their previous lives, you cannot say. But for ordinary people, I think it takes time.

Of course, definitely Dharma works if you put it into practice; you do get some experience. That’s the key. One achieves a much deeper knowledge of oneself. You become honest with yourself. No longer do you put things on somebody else. So that knowledge is very interesting. But it’s nothing stable and permanent; don’t think you reach a certain level and it’s never going to degenerate again. You get experience, but this experience depends again on this privileged situation you are in, the retreat situation. Of course, if you cannot keep this situation, the mind degenerates again quite fast.

Could you say what level of the nine states of concentration you got to?

Well, at some point I think I got to the fourth or fifth stage. But again, it’s not something stable. You lose it very quickly if you don’t practice for a while, or depending on the weather, depending on the food you eat. I know how to get back to it but I don’t have it all the time. But even at the fourth or fifth stage, there’s definitely a satisfaction that comes in the mind, a stability of mind, a satisfaction that is not dependent on sensory pleasure, a satisfaction that comes from the stopping of the delusion. As it says in the teachings, what concentration does is prevent the delusions from arising.

So you didn’t experience unbelievable ecstasy of mind and body?

No, not that! I think that comes with the eighth or ninth stages. But once you have reached the fourth or fifth stage, you realize how agitated the mind is normally, even when you think it is quiet. So when the agitation subsides, when the mind really rests, this is very refreshing. It is something you have never had before.

Did it take you the two and a half years to get to this stage?

No, I think it was after six months.

You didn’t progress beyond that in the next two years?

No.

You were doing something wrong?

I think it had something to do with the place. That is my feeling. At a certain point, I became very, very sensitive to the environment: cars and people coming and going would be quite disturbing. And then also the weather: if there’s a strong wind, the concentration doesn’t work. There are many conditions like that that easily influence the meditator.

When your concentration was good, how long could you stay?

I think between half an hour and an hour. The limitation was mainly because of the body, pain in the body – this caused distraction.

For many of us in the West, we feel there’s a big distance between us and single-pointed concentration. We don’t think it’s possible.

I think the main point with concentration is to know very well the method to develop it. It is very important to study well the methods beforehand. Many people can stay for many hours in meditation, they can sit, physically, but actually the mind goes all over the place. During retreat, it was very clear that actually it is much better to do five minutes of good meditation than a half hour of just sitting and the mind going out.

Spacing out.

Exactly, spacing out. It’s very easy to have this dullness in the mind, because the mind naturally falls into half-sleepiness. And actually there’s a well-being there; it’s cozy, so you feel it’s all right, and you stay complacently in that state. But it’s not really clear meditation. The main thing in the beginning is to have the clear instruction on how to do concentration.

As they say in the teachings, the very first important tool is determination. So important, determination: I’m not going to move from this object of meditation. And if the mind goes away, I will bring it back. And if the mind falls asleep, has dullness, then I will wake it up in such a way. Strong determination. This is very precious, because without it there’s no power to keep the mind on the object.

And then the first level is forceful engagement. A lot of effort is needed, actually, for the mind to stay on the on the object, because the mind naturally wants to go away. At the beginning of the session, it’s a lot of struggle: I’m not going to move away. You hold it very tightly – and even sometimes you’re tight with your body, because you don’t want to let go, right?

As this forceful engagement develops, you can stay much longer on the object, and then you loosen up the tightness without losing the object. You reach the point where actually you stay on the object, the mind not going all over the place. So this comes through forceful engagement.

They say usually you should start with very short sessions – three minutes, five minutes, just until you lose the object. Then you relax and you start again. If you do it this way, you make very fast progress. It goes very fast, because each time you lose the object you stop the session, and of course next time you want to make the session longer. So you do your best to stay, because if you lose it, you think, Oh no, I’ve got to start the session again. So like that, you get strong concentration.

One thing that I find very helpful is the sitting position: when I was doing concentration I would sit as much as possible in full lotus. The position makes a huge difference: automatically the mind is clear and more stable. Another thing that I found very helpful is the preliminary prayers. Usually I don’t find it so helpful for my mind to make extensive prayers. But definitely refuge, bodhicitta and guru yoga – these are really the key. Strong prayers to the guru, strong requests, and then to absorb the guru, and from that base, start the concentration practice. Because definitely blessings help to start.

I think devotion is very, very important. For me, I would say the emotion of devotion is that which makes the heart soft and open. The problem we Westerners have, we know all the techniques, we know so much but we don’t get the experience. Why? Because the heart is a piece of stone, is a rock, you know? It is only when the heart is soft and light that the experience can come about. And that’s the function of devotion. When you have devotion, compassion is very easy, understanding the suffering of samsara is very easy – all the rest becomes very easy when your heart is soft and mellow, all the rest follows from that state of mind.

When you see all the highly realized beings in any tradition, whether Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, they all have incredibly strong devotion. The inner experience is incredible devotion. From there, all their experience came. Sometimes one gets too much into the intellectual aspect of how to develop devotion – the important thing is to get it, have the emotion, the reasoning doesn’t matter so much. Just get it, experience it.

For me one precious way of getting it is by realizing my own limitation. How limited the I is, and how much I want to change. Devotion for me is a strong longing to change. It has to come from the heart, to burst up. I want to change. I don’t want to be this limited being anymore, I want these walls to fall down. And from that comes the feeling that there must be something higher, something perfect, something pure, something realized. You think there must be beings who have reached that perfection. Pray to this, to whatever help one can get.

I think the key is from one’s own side to open up towards this aspiration. For me this was the most important part in devotion, this aspiration, this yearning. Because if you just think, Buddha up there, but from your side you have no emotion, you’re just sitting there and you recite the mantra and you visualize the blessing coming, and there’s no yearning from your side, it doesn’t work somehow. From purification, accumulation of merit and devotion, I think all the rest comes quite easily.

I carry this one teaching from Lama Zopa with me [brings it out]. It’s the importance of purifying and accumulating merit, a teaching I had from Lama Zopa. And it’s so true. These practices have a profound psychological meaning. Purification practices are very important, not only because they purify negative karma of the past, but somehow they make your mind clear and you gain some level of self-respect, of being together and being clear.

They can remove the sense of guilt, of feeling inadequate, you know, of feeling that you are not at the right spot, or you’re not doing the right thing. Purification gets rid of that, and makes you feel: All right, although I haven’t done everything right, at least I’ve purified what I could. And then you have a sense of well-being.

I think this is very precious, and sometimes we forget. We just think, Oh, I have done purification practice so many times, what am I still purifying? I don’t remember anything more to purify. But one forgets the positive results of purification.

And then accumulation of merit. I think this improves this positive energy, this positive potential; this well-being increases. You are doing something worthwhile with your life. You have a feeling of well-being, of doing okay, as a result of this practice. The sense of self-respect, of being happy with one’s life, increases. And this gives joy, a joy which comes with being happy with oneself.

The main point is to have this soft heart. And from that, whatever meditation you do, it works. And if you don’t have that, whatever meditation you do, it doesn’t work. It’s as clear as that. We hear it so many times. But now I see really how it works on the mind, that really if that is not there, you don’t catch it. You don’t catch it.

Tell us what you learned about emptiness, what you learned about the object to be refuted, the I.

Well, what is beautiful about retreat is that finally you have plenty of time to read all your notes, to study all the teachings, on emptiness: Jeffrey Hopkins’s Meditation on Emptiness and Emptiness Yoga, Geshe Rabten’s Echoes of Voidness, George Dreyfus’s teachings on emptiness – I really enjoyed that. And you have the time after having read something to sit down and reflect on it, to see how it works. That I found very, very precious, to be able to observe the mind and how the ego would point his nose.

Tell us about that. Tell us about the object to be refuted. How does it feel, what does it look like? Did you recognize it clearly? In terms of the four stages, you were very clear on the first one?

Well, it seems like the other stages are very easy once you’ve got the first; the whole problem is the first one. The rest just follow. One thing that was very helpful was first to find the basis of imputation: to recognize what the body is, how the body’s changing from moment to moment; and what the mind is, what the awareness is, what the thoughts are, what the emotions are, and how they are changing from moment to moment. So first is recognizing the basis of imputation of the I.

Usually I would start with guru yoga, and after absorbing the guru in the heart, I would stay in that space of awareness. At some point in that space of awareness, the I would arise. And it became very clear that the I appears to be inherent, something existing from its own side. It doesn’t appear to be just imputed on this body and mind; it appears as something more than that. The I doesn’t appear to be changing, he appears very concrete there, somehow in control.

Then, while maintaining this sense of I, if you search for it with a corner of the mind, within the five aggregates, within the thoughts, emotions and body, you discover that none of these parts, nor all of them together, can be the I, because they are all changing from moment to moment. There is nothing solid there to support the I. And there is nowhere outside the body-mind where this concrete I can be either.

When you see that clearly, the I has nowhere to hold on to and so it disappears like a soap-bubble being poked. The first experience is of not finding what you expected to be there: it’s like the shock you get when your car or your money-belt are not where they are supposed to be. The shock at finding this absence of I-ness is even stronger; it shakes at the very root of oneself.

There is no I there, it’s merely imputed on the body and mind. There’s no I there anywhere. The I doesn’t exist at all. Usually the experience is that there’s some sense of I, kind of a cloud, a feeling of I somewhere; even if one cannot find it, there’s a sense of I-ness somewhere. But in meditation, you’re completely sure there’s no I at all, it’s a mere name put on something which is not the I, which is the body and mind. What comes to the mind is an absence, a void, then a spaciousness; it is very joyous and very light. Great freedom. You feel, Wow! Finally I can breathe. It’s very spacious, very nice.

When the intensity of the experience decreases, and as you obviously still exist, more so than ever, you check how the I exists. You see that you exist by mere imputation on the aggregates. There is no me anywhere there, but at long as the base (the aggregates) is there it is valid to be called “I”, because the body-mind can perform the function that one expects of an I. And that is all it needs in order to exist.

Then from that basis of emptiness I would start the sadhana. Actually when the emptiness part works well, the whole sadhana is pervaded by it. But if you don’t have it at the beginning, all the visualizations seem to be concrete, mind-made. Also, I found that the sadhana has a definite structure that is actually very intelligent. There’s a logic to it, such that if you do one part well, the next part comes well. Whereas if some part doesn’t come well, the next part also doesn’t come well.

By doing the praises to the lineage gurus you get the inspiration from all these masters, it gives you confidence in the practice; some blessing comes. And then the Vajrasattva practice is to remove the obstacles to actual practice, and if you do this well, the guru yoga comes well. And if you do Guru Yoga well, you get a lot of blessing, and this helps emptiness come easily. And if the emptiness comes easily, then the whole building of the mandala comes well. It was very interesting to observe this process.

Did you memorize your sadhana?

I memorized Lama Chöpa, in English. I usually did it every morning, so it was worth the time to memorize it. It makes it much easier, because you can stop and visualize without having to open your eyes and be involved with the text. Most of the sadhana of the yidam I memorized also, although sometimes I would leave out most of the words and just follow the visualization and say the mantras and the prayers. This is what felt comfortable.

And also what was quite nice was to stop in the sadhana at many points and meditate on the concentration. It was easy at the beginning of the session, when the mind is fresh and you can keep your body in a good position. Then when the mind began to get a little tired, I would just keep on with the prayers, and the rest.

What other objects did you take for meditation? You said before that you’d meditate on the clarity of the mind, for example.

In different situations, I found other objects more helpful, more easy. For example, because of the blessing of the guru when you absorb him in the heart, you are in this space. Sometimes I would take that space of the mind as an object; it was there, so I didn’t look for another object. I simply stayed there and tried to develop concentration on that.

What would you call that object?

The nature of the mind, an image of the mind. And then when that was stabilized, it’s natural that the I would pop his nose in. So then I got interested in using that, because the nature of the mind is an affirming object, and emptiness is a non-affirming negative. Actually, when emptiness is the object, it’s very easy to degenerate again to the nature of the mind. You lose it as a non-affirming negative and it becomes again just space of the mind.

At other times, during the generation stage of the sadhana I found it quite helpful to stabilize the whole mandala instead of just the deity’s body. Sometimes to have the whole picture was useful, because there is a panoramic vision, and the I is less involved, therefore distraction is lessened. You have this overview, and this seems somehow easy to stabilize. As Lama Tsong Khapa explained, from that you can go in, and you move out again, you look at the different aspects. This rests the mind.

To even think of visualizing a mandala is something very difficult for most Westerners.

First one gets acquainted with the visualization by building up to it through the sadhana.

Like painting a picture.

Yeah, there is this, there is that. And once you know the whole thing by heart, you just stabilize it, the whole picture. But it’s not necessary to see the whole picture, it’s not necessary to see the details; just to know it’s there, to have a rough image, and to stabilize that. Actually it’s quite easy to stabilize. If you are not perfectionist, wanting to see the detail, you just stabilize.

There’s an order to it: First you develop stability, then clarity, then intensity; these are the three stages in order when you develop concentration. First you try to stabilize whatever appears. And then you look for some clarity. When you can keep it, you improve the color, the shapes. I think the mind becomes more vast. Your mind can expand, and that’s a very nice feeling, this feeling of expansion. And then to go back and forth, as explained in the sadhana at that point: you alternate analytical meditation and single-pointed concentration. Actually single-pointed concentration would just be to stabilize whatever appears without looking for anything more. When the mind gets tired of that, you do an analytical meditation for a while, you improve the color and the shape, you try to see the different things. And then when you’ve had enough of that, you go back to the single-pointedness of whatever appears. You alternate. The analytical meditation helps the concentration, and the concentration helps the analytical. So Lama Tsong Khapa praises very much that technique.

You found it worked?

Yes, I found it worked. Usually one does it before the recitation of the mantra. I would stop there quite a while, and I found that a very, very nice practice. Identifying with something other than this ordinary René, this ordinary body, because at that moment you don’t have this gross body or these gross feelings. At some point when you get some stability, you really feel you are the deity.

Divine pride, as they call it.

Yes, it’s a very nice feeling. Actually, I still don’t understand the symbolism of everything in the mandala, but simply the fact of being in the center of something; sometimes to identify oneself with the center, like the deity, and sometimes to identify oneself with the mandala. It’s like sometimes you identify yourself as being the body sitting in the room, and sometimes you identify yourself as the room, and sometimes as being here, sometimes way over there. You are able to broaden your awareness and have exactly the same awareness of the thing, but on different levels.

Expanding your mind, literally.

Yes.

Is it hard to say how subtle your mind got?

Yes, I think this is very difficult to say, especially since it changed so much from session to session. I didn’t get any stability or any realization that I could keep. During one session you would have a nice experience, and then the next session, nothing, and you don’t understand why.

I guess it just shows how far one has to go before it is stable, before one can just call it up effortlessly.

Yes. I think for me it’s a very long journey. But from the few glimpses I have had, I see it is possible. It is something within our own mind that we can reach. And when you have a small glimpse, you see that it’s so precious. A mind free of delusion is actually so blissful, so happy, so nice, that at that moment when you compare it to sense pleasure, you say, oh no, the mind by itself is so happy. It’s so hard to get there, but when one has a small taste, it’s really beautiful.

People need some glimpse of the experience, something. And then it closes up again. Then they ask themselves, why does it not last? Why is it closing up again? Then you see what difference there is in the mind when that experience is there and when it’s not there; you see the hardness of the mind when it’s not there, you notice some kind of heaviness, stiffness. And sometimes the softness comes through the blessing of a spiritual being or by a beautiful spot, or by being somewhere or being with somebody. Sometimes your heart opens up, and then everything happens.

My emphasis when I have to teach or lead meditation for Westerners is to give people a taste, to try to make them have an experience. Because more than any theory about the lower realms or about karma or samsara, if you have some taste – you know, Lama Yeshe’s way – if you taste the chocolate, it’s your own thing, you know there’s something else than just samsaric pleasure. And once you’ve tasted that, you can never forget it. You know that is a possibility.

The perfect carrot.

Exactly! I think this is so important for people to have, because that’s what keeps you going through all the struggle, the purification, because you know there’s some light and some joy at the end of the road. I think this is very important for us Westerners. If you never get a taste of what’s possible, one won’t go through the process of purification, the struggles, and finally you give up at some point.

Tell us about your morning lam-rim meditation sessions.

I started with Jor-chö, but after a while I preferred Lama Chöpa, because it included the three-kaya meditations. Then the most helpful thing for me was to read something on one topic, to start the analytical process. I was concerned very much to speak to my heart, so the book I preferred was the commentary by the present Dalai Lama on the Third Dalai Lama’s The Essence of Refined Gold. That was the one that spoke most to my heart. Also The Path to Bliss by His Holiness. Those were the two that touched me most. So, I would read something from His Holiness on a specific topic, let’s say the previous human rebirth, in one of his lam-rim texts where there’s the outline. It was very interesting, because he doesn’t stop at the traditional presentation; he adds his own reflections from the point of view of a twentieth-century person, and this gives you the essence of what you try to achieve.

I have found that many of the traditional lam-rim reasonings don’t work so well for my mind. For example, in the section on guru devotion it says to see your guru as Buddha, because Buddha said so at such and such a place, because Vajradhara said so. For me, this is not convincing, it doesn’t work. But thinking of the obvious qualities I can see in the guru, this works very much for my mind. I can never come to a definite conclusion whether my guru is a Buddha or not–I don’t even know clearly what a Buddha is from my perspective. If I say my guru is Buddha, it would be utterly out of faith. What I can see is that he’s much more evolved than me, but what that “more evolved” is, I don’t know. I just see he has many more qualities, much less delusion than me. This feels very safe, because it’s based on my own observation. So there’s no place there for doubts to arise.

By seeing his infinite kindness, all that he has done for me – all that I have learned, all that I practice – and by reflecting on this kindness, some kind of heartfelt devotion naturally arises. This is on firm ground; I don’t need to base it on some quotation from some beings, which for me is not convincing, because, how can I say? Basing it on my own experience is very down to earth, it is something I can verify. And then my practice grows. Because if doubt arises, I can bring it back to something again very fast. It seems that for other people it works, but for me it’s very difficult.

How about compassion?

By doing the meditations, it becomes clearer and clearer. It is interesting to observe that sometimes one feels closer to people when one’s far away, like in a retreat situation. You can feel the beings from inside instead of just superficially through the senses. You feel what it is to be a human being yourself, what it is to be alive yourself. You realize that all this inner struggle, all these inner things, all other beings have too. They have exactly the same sense of I, the same wish to be happy, the same problems. You feel this from inside, whereas usually one communicates with people just through the appearance. You have a feeling of alikeness from inside. This was very beautiful. So even though one is alone in retreat, one doesn’t necessarily feel alone. You feel very close to others.

And also the practice of tong-len [taking on others’ suffering and giving one’s own happiness]: because one has time and has no distraction, it becomes almost automatic to practice it in the break-times. Usually what prevents us from practicing it is that we are always very distracted by this or that. But in retreat it’s quite easy to put it on the breath. But if it doesn’t come from the heart, if you don’t feel it, it degenerates. I think bodhicitta is very much like that: if you don’t keep on working on it, it tends to degenerate. You have to meditate on it every day.

Anyway, I would take one topic – precious human rebirth or karma or compassion – for my session and then stay on that. I would have two parts to the session: at the beginning I would do the analytical meditation, until the point where you come to a strong emotion: Ah yes, this precious human rebirth, this is really precious. Suddenly, you realize, Wow! This is unique and precious, I’m never going to have this again. It would feel very strong. At that point I would stop the analytical meditation and just continue with that feeling, that strong feeling of Wow! I get it! And stay there for a while. Then I would stop the session.

They say there are three ways of meditating on lam-rim. One is the glance meditation, where you just go over the parts but you don’t come to the experience; you just glance over the points to give an overview. Then you have the effortful realization of the lam-rim, which means you meditate on the topic analytically until you get to that strong feeling. And then you reach the third stage which is called the effortless experience. At that point, you are so familiar with the topic that merely remembering it you can go to that strong feeling immediately, without having to use the reasons.

Usually you would meditate on a topic until you had reached the point of the effortless experience. And then you would move to the next topic, while keeping the first thought. So you would first go to the effortless experience of that, then you would use analytical meditation on the next topic. In this way you’d be in the total realization of the lam-rim.

So for two and a half years, every morning, you went over the various points of the path to enlightenment many many times, from the beginning to the end.

Exactly. Not necessarily in order. At the beginning I would go in order, but then, because they’re all interlinked, I would start from one topic and I would see the whole lam-rim from that perspective. In this way you go more deeply into it. The more you develop one, the more you develop the others; they’re completely linked. When one has the whole overview of the lam-rim, from one point of the lam-rim you can take into it all the other points. Then you move to another point, and from that perspective you meditate on all the points of the am-rim: from previous human rebirth you can meditate on compassion, on emptiness, on impermanence, like that.

You see that the lam-rim is simply how a Buddha sees samsara. It’s actually an enlightened perspective. If you divide it, you have these fourteen topics, or however many you want to divide it into, but in fact it’s just one state of mind.

How deep did you go on each of the topics? For example, the middle scope, how much did you do on that?

I think the two main ones for me were the unsatisfactory nature of samsaric pleasure and the uncertainty of samsara. You see that things keep on changing and that you have no control over what is going to happen. That as long as you’re in samsara, anything can happen at any moment, there’s no certainty at all. And that no matter how much you have of anything, you never reach a point where you say, I’ve had enough of it, I can stop that experience. These two I found very very powerful for my mind.

They are very simple; intellectually you don’t need to think much, they are very easy to verify within one’s own life. There’s no way out of that. As long as we’re in samsara, wherever you are, you always have these two. You’re never sure of what is going to happen, so there’s always fear in part of the mind. If you don’t have what you want, this is craving, and if you have what you want, then you have the fear of losing it, because there’s no certainty. So these two were very, very powerful. Each implies the other one. Actually, sometimes it is easy to get depressed. Not only you are in this mess, but everybody’s in this mess! So I think an important thing with lam-rim is to balance it.

With tantra?

Either with tantra or with concentration. If you can balance the lam-rim with the purity of the mind, the clarity, the concentration, or some bliss, some satisfaction, then you’re able to accept what the lam-rim says. One helps the other.

You see, why Westerners come to the Dharma is because there’s some kind of problem, existential problem, some kind of difficulty perhaps. Our minds are already low and depressed, with a low opinion of ourselves. If you enter the lam-rim in the usual way, it could bring you down, punch! And you didn’t come to Dharma for that, you came for some kind of stability, some kind of clarity. Lama Yeshe saw that very clearly.

Actually, I always think you have to have something before the lam-rim. This became very clear for me. And that’s why now when I teach, I’m very aware of trying to give to people some taste that is positive for them too. The intellectual information you can get from books, you can get from other teachers. But the taste, I think that’s what high lamas give. More than what they say, it’s what they are.

Tell us about the problems, the struggles you had during your retreat.

Well, there was not so much. The main problem I had was boredom with the routine of the practice. After more than two years of doing always the same thing, the same routine, I’d become bored. But when you have a difficult moment, you know that other people are there [on retreat], and you know that you are not the only person having difficulties, the other person is too.

As Geshe Lama Konchog said when he talked about concentration, usually one has to be isolated from other people, but if there are other people doing the same practice, it doesn’t matter how many people are in the same area, because you help each other. You have the same energy, and you inspire each other by doing the practice. And I found that for me this was very true, that sometimes when you are alone, the mind goes around in circles. When you speak with somebody else, the problem disappears simply by having the input of somebody else.

So that’s what you did on your retreat?

Yes, for quite a few times. Sometimes every fifteen days or so I would meet another person doing retreat there, and we would go for a walk, or have a cup of tea together, and discuss how our practice was going, and share information: Oh, I just read this information about that practice, you know. Giving tips to each other, what works for us, and what problems we face. So this was very precious. And also being able to share with another human being, this kind of feeling was very, very nice. Support each other. So you support each other, even if you don’t speak to each other, you know that the person is also going through that.

Why did you stop retreat?

Actually it was a combination of things. My mother was quite sick and needed some help. And I saw at that point that six months more of retreat would not make a big difference, I would not make much more progress. At the end of the retreat, I realized that I need to go to some blessed place and get some inspirations and blessing, do more purification, create more merit; to build up the energy again for going into retreat.

So, last July I went to work for two months to help my mother in her flower shop in Geneva. Coming out of retreat was interesting. On the one hand the mind was very peaceful, relaxed, and you don’t jump into the old emotion as before, don’t take things so seriously. You’re able to watch the mind and, at the same time, you can work perfectly well and do what you need to be doing. That was nice. On the other hand, given the conditions, the delusions arise again. At the beginning because you just came out of retreat you get the feeling of being invincible almost.

But slowly you are reminded that the delusions are still there, that they just need the causes and conditions in order to appear again. It’s interesting to be out there and to put into practice what you have learned during the retreat: always trying to be aware of emptiness, always being aware of bodhicitta, always being aware of being of benefit. In some sense the retreat goes on, it’s not like it finishes. And what I gained in the retreat is a strong habit of being aware of each state of mind as it arises and to apply the antidote straight away; to deal with the mind all the time, be aware all the time. It is interesting now to see how I manage. Many times I had thought that the real retreat would start when I came out of retreat. For that’s where you see the results.

So, conclusion, you would recommend retreat?

Oh, very much. I think there are two levels of doing retreat. One is doing retreat at the beginning, before one has studied a lot, simply out of enthusiasm. And then there’s a second level of doing retreat, after many years of study and practice; simply to go deeper into whatever you want to study. Simply to be able to make the experience on a deeper level, and that is very, very precious. It gives a feeling of maturity, of becoming more mature in the Dharma, of having digested all of what one has studied. It’s not just words anymore.

This I think is very important for people who have studied a long time, because Dharma from this point of view is nothing new or exciting anymore. At some point, you don’t need new information, you need to taste and go deeper and deeper. Now when I listen to discourses, it’s different than before. I can go into meditation and the teaching becomes a guided meditation instead of, Oh, I don’t care, it’s nothing new, I’ve heard it so many times. Instead of having to think about it myself, somebody is doing the thinking and I can just meditate. So, like that, it’s kind of enjoyable. But this is because of being able to go deeper in retreat, whereas before, I felt bored with any more teaching. I could not take it anymore.

Tell us how your doing retreat benefits others? At whatever level you think, present or future.

I think first, merely the fact of knowing that somebody is in retreat raises a lot of questions for the other people who are not in retreat. How come that person gives up all that pleasure, all this way of living just to go sit there? Maybe the fact that there are people in the world who go away from everyday life, to sit on their own, poses a big question for the rest of the world. If these people did not exist, there would be a great loss. There wouldn’t be this question mark: Why are they doing that? What’s the purpose? So this I think is very precious. People can give up the ordinary way of life, and live something completely different. That this alternative way of life exists is very precious. I think if it did not exist, the world would be impoverished.

Another benefit is that, at a subtle level of vibration, the person who does retreat can feed the environment – you know, each being has a certain vibration which he emanates through the environment. So if one is angry and agitated in a city, one spreads that vibration around. The person who meditates generates a peaceful energy, a gentle and loving-kindness energy which spreads around. This feeds the collective energy. And that’s how a great yogi blesses places, that’s how we have all these blessed places. One being was sitting there and got his incredible realization, and his inner peace created that environment. So that’s the second point. One on psychological level your realizations and prayers benefit everybody. I think also on another level, even in a small way, whatever progress one makes in retreat, whatever little loving-kindness, whatever compassion, whatever patience – this benefits all the people you come in contact with after that.

Also, I think if there’s nobody anymore who had these realizations, then “lama” becomes a mere word. Then the Buddhadharma has died out like so many other spiritual paths. It is very important that some beings gain experience. Whether Dharma is alive or not depends on the existence of beings who have realizations. And the best way to gain that is through intensive practice, through intense dedication, retreat. You cannot do this if you are very busy, involved; you have that much less time for practice, therefore you have that much less progress. But if one has time to do intensive retreat, definitely one progresses more than if one doesn’t have that precious opportunity.