Purifying Karmic Debts with Ksitigarbha Sutra

Sharing from a daughter who saved her mother with the recitation of Ksitigarbha Sutra

I am 34 years old this year. When I was a child, my mother killed countless living beings to provide me with good food. The creatures she killed included (but were not limited to) soft-shelled turtles, chickens, ducks, partridges, quails, pigeons, frogs, various types of fish, seafood, shellfish, and more. To this day, I still vividly recall every scene of her killing — it was extremely cruel. No matter how much the creatures in her hands cried out in agony, she never hesitated. With a swift swing of the knife, blood would flow like a river. Both the toilet and the kitchen at home became places of slaughter. Especially when she killed chickens, the toilet floor would be covered with blood, and the poor chickens would struggle amidst the blood until they finally died, a pitiful and horrifying sight.

My memories start from when I was about 4 or 5 years old. I always felt very sad whenever I saw my mother kill or heard the cries of the creatures. Yet, every time she placed the delicious dishes on the dining table, I would eat with great relish (I sincerely repent for this!). My mother, being the eldest in her family, took on the heavy responsibility of household chores from a young age, including slaughtering animals. Over time, she became accustomed to it, never fearing or hesitating.

When she was in her teens, due to the lack of meat at home, she once helped kill a dog and a cat. Consequently, for the past several decades, her family — including my grandmother, grandfather, my mother, and her four sisters — have all suffered from a difficult-to-cure chronic illness that were not infectious. To this day, they are still plagued by the illness, which flares up periodically. However, none of my grandmother and grandfather's siblings, nor any of their descendants (who share the same ancestral bloodline), have ever contracted this disease. Only our family has been afflicted, making it evident that this is the shared karmic retribution of our family.

After marriage, due to various reasons, my mother had an abortion when I was about six months old. Throughout my childhood, my parents would argue violently several times a month. During the worst fights, they would even smash household items. On one occasion, during a dispute, my father ended up with two wounds on his stomach. I didn’t see how he got hurt, but by the time I noticed, blood was already oozing from the wounds. My parents' relationship was tense since I was young, and they had been on the verge of divorce for years. Since I was young, I have been headstrong and rebellious, especially toward my mother, rarely listening to her. In their eyes, I was an unruly child who constantly caused them worry (I sincerely repent for this!).

Later on, after I began practicing Buddhism and meeting many people, I came to realize that most families with heavy karmic debts from killing tend to have discord among family members. Either the relationships between spouses are troubled, or children are disobedient, causing parents endless concern. My own life has also been fraught with difficulties. In middle school, I was bullied by bad classmates. At a young age, I struggled with dark thoughts and developed anxiety and phobias. From graduating middle school to attending college and later entering the workforce, I was haunted by this psychological shadow, unable to escape it. I now understand that this was the karmic retribution for my parents’ and my own involvement in killing living beings.

It wasn’t until I began practicing Buddhism at the age of 26 that I found relief from my psychological issues. At one point, I thought my life was ruined — I was in my early twenties and couldn’t see a way out of my mental struggles. Thanks to the teachings of Buddhism, and through practices such as saving many lives of living creatures, diligently reciting the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra, and chanting mantras, I saw great improvement in my condition. Gradually, I became more cheerful, and my mind started to recover and return to normal!

Going back to my mother. In 2002, her karmic retribution finally manifested. One day, she suddenly developed a high fever that lasted for a week without subsiding. In the hospital, the doctors administered antibiotics for several consecutive days, but the infection could not be suppressed. Her condition worsened, and eventually, the infection spread to her head region. At that point, her intracranial pressure rose to 350, and she was admitted to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit). Every day in the hospital, she was in unbearable pain. I can still vividly recall her words at that time: “I don’t want to live anymore, it’s too unbearable, my head is so painful, so painful, doctor, please give me an injection and let me die.”

After numerous complications and a long period of time, the doctors finally diagnosed her with a parasitic infection in her brain. Unfortunately, the diagnosis came only after her condition had reached a critical stage, missing the best time-frame for treatment. As a result, even more than a decade later, she was still severely affected by the aftereffects of the disease, causing her suffering worse than death.

In 2009, I came into contact with Buddhism. At the time, I didn’t recite sutras or perform life release for my mother; instead, I performed rituals to help my own karmic creditors (I repent for not having started reciting sutras for my mother earlier!). Each time I performed life release or completed a full recitation of the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra, my body felt light and comfortable. Between 2002 and 2016, over the course of 14 years, my mother’s condition repeatedly relapsed. She was tormented by the illness daily and had to be hospitalized once or twice every year for several consecutive years. Despite undergoing numerous medical examinations, no clear location of the infection could be found. She simply continued to suffer in agony. Each time her condition worsened and she was admitted to the hospital, the doctors would administer sedatives to help her sleep. Medically, her illness could only be categorized as “neuralgia” (pain of the nerves). My father took care of her arduously day and night.

In 2016, I finally thought of reciting sutras for my mother’s karmic creditors. In June 2016, I vowed to recite 350 complete recitations of the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra for her karmic creditors. However, I was very busy with work, and my daily commute was long (about 2 to 2.5 hours round trip), leaving me with almost no time to recite sutras during the weekdays. I could only manage a few recitations on the weekends. By January 2017, I had only completed 100 recitations, though I did notice that there were some improvements in my mother’s condition during that period.

But in March 2017, her condition suddenly deteriorated drastically within a few weeks, becoming far worse than it had ever been before. She was in so much pain that she could no longer even go to the bathroom by herself at night, she had attempted it and fallen down several times. Now, my father had to support her each time she needed to use the bathroom. She constantly cried out at home, “Help me! It’s very painful…” This phrase was always on her lips. She described feeling as if her body was tightly bound by a thick, invisible rope, giving her unbearable pain. Previously, her pain was confined to her head, face, and back. Now it had spread to her entire upper body, including her head and face. She cried out for help every day, saying she couldn’t take it anymore. Even though the doctors prescribed the maximum dosage of painkillers, they were ineffective in controlling her condition.

At the same time, my job also encountered obstacles, and I could no longer continue working at my previous company, so I had to resign. Given my mother’s worsening condition, I, as a Buddhist disciple, was not eager to find a new job. Instead, I wanted to seize this precious opportunity to stay at home and focus entirely on reciting the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra for her. I realized that this was a blessing from the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, allowing me to have more time to recite sutras for her, which ultimately saved her. If I hadn’t lost my job, with my previous demanding workload and long commute, I wouldn’t have had enough time to recite sutras. Perhaps her condition would have worsened even more (I am deeply grateful to the Three Jewels!).

At that time, I declined all invitations from friends and shut myself in my room, dedicating myself to reciting sutras every day. I prayed sincerely to Kṣitigarbha Bodhisattva to bless and save my mother.

From April 2017 onward, I spent almost every day reciting sutras, except for the time spent eating and sleeping. Occasionally, I had to go out to handle other matters, but I would return home as quickly as possible to continue reciting. Sometimes, I would recite until past 11 p.m., so exhausted that I would unknowingly fall asleep at my desk. When I woke up, it would already be midnight. The next day, I would continue, repeating the same routine day after day.

However, from April to June 2017, no matter how hard I tried, there was no progress in my mother’s condition. I had no doubts about the Three Jewels because I had previously benefited from reciting the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra and had advised friends to recite it for their critically ill relatives, which ultimately saved their lives. So why couldn’t it work for my mother?

I began to question myself—was I doing something wrong, leading to the lack of results? I doubted my ability and my level of cultivation. At times, I felt extremely frustrated. Every time I finished reciting and came out, only to see my mother still bedridden in another room, groaning in pain, I couldn’t help but feel resentment and despair. Only later did I understand that my mother’s karmic obstacles were too heavy, and my sutra recitations were merely a drop in the ocean. Merit needs to be accumulated gradually, and only when it reaches a certain level will there be results.

I had read in a Dharma teaching that after being killed, the spirits of the slain beings follow the killer like shadows and may take the opportunity to attack when the person’s luck or good energy is weak.

Recalling my mother’s past decades of killing countless beings, combined with other non-virtues (Kṣitigarbha Sūtra says: “The beings of this world are creating nothing but karma and sins in every act and thought.”), how could such a heavy karmic debt be repaid in just two to three months? That’s impossible. Both bad karma and good karma take time to mature. I could only do my best.

Watching my mother suffer, I remembered what the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra says: “Karma manifests in this way. The power of karma is enormous—it can rival Mount Sumeru, it can be deeper than the great ocean, and it can obstruct the path to enlightenment.” Therefore, only by diligently cultivating can one eliminate karmic obstacles sooner.

With this realization, I persisted in reciting five to six complete recitations of the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra daily, sometimes even managing seven, while on days when I was in poor condition, I could only complete two to three recitations. Occasionally, I personally went to the market to buy animals for life release. I also guided my mother, urging her to sincerely repent to her karmic creditors and the spirits of the aborted children. I told her that no matter how difficult it was, she needed to kneel, bow, admit her mistakes, and apologize to them. After all, if you hurt someone and don’t repent yourself, expecting a third party to repent on your behalf, how could the karmic creditors possibly forgive you? My mother followed through and did as I advised.

When I had completed approximately 280 recitations of the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra, my own health suddenly deteriorated, and I was sick for an entire week. Yet during that week, my mother’s condition took a significant turn for the better—she felt somewhat more comfortable than before, although she was still in severe pain, it was not as bad as before.

I continued reciting daily, and by the time I completed 350 recitations, her condition improved another level, though there was still no noticeable recovery (which showed how heavy her karmic obstacles were). After finishing the 350 recitations, I made another vow to recite 100 more for her karmic creditors. After completing 450 recitations, there was another slight improvement in her condition, but she remained bedridden almost every day.

Faced with the lack of significant improvement, I didn’t allow it to discourage me. I did not think of anything else but continued reciting sutras and performing life release. I heard that the spirits of aborted children and sentient beings with stronger spiritual natures (such as the cats and dogs my mother had killed) required sutra recitations dedicated solely to them to help them move on. Therefore, I vowed to recite 108 complete recitations of the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra for each of them—one for the aborted child and two for the highly sentient beings my mother had harmed. Additionally, I vowed to spend 2,000 yuan on life release for each of them, praying for their liberation from suffering and sincerely repenting to them. (In reality, by the end, I had recited more than 108 recitations for each, and the amount spent on life release exceeded 2,000 yuan per being.)

Even though my mother showed no significant improvement from April to August 2017, I never doubted the Dharma. Instead, I reflected on myself, worked hard to correct my flaws, and strived to increase the merit from my sutra recitations, hoping my mother would overcome this ordeal soon. I held onto a belief in my heart: I trusted Kṣitigarbha Bodhisattva, and I believed that as long as I maintained sufficient faith in him and persevered in my practice, he would surely save us!

I originally thought that it would take a long time before my mother could show any significant recovery and that she might remain bedridden for a long time. However, what I didn’t know was that the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas had always been silently blessing her. The help they provide is not something ordinary beings can necessarily perceive. While I continued reciting sutras for her day after day, hope quietly arrived.

One morning in early September 2017, after I had completed around 540 recitations of the Kṣitigarbha Sūtra, my mother, who had been bedridden for nearly half a year, suddenly got out of bed. Full of energy and with a cheerful expression, she smiled and said, “I want to go outside for a walk.” Both my father and I were astonished at her sudden transformation overnight. That day, after getting out of bed, she spent the whole day chatting with us, joking and discussing light-hearted topics. Compared to the previous days when she had been constantly groaning in pain, it was as if she had become a completely different person. I couldn’t believe the sudden change in my mother.

In the following two days, I remained on guard and did not allow myself to be lax. I continued reciting sutras and chanting mantras for her. I was still immersed in the memory of anxiety over her illness, unable to adjust to the new reality. Eventually, I patted my face to see if it was a dream and feeling the sensations, thought, “This is real—this isn’t a dream!” My mother has truly recovered! I am deeply grateful to the Three Jewels and to Kṣitigarbha Bodhisattva! To describe my feelings at that time in one sentence: Happiness came too suddenly, and I couldn’t believe it! Tears of gratitude blurred my vision… Finally, everything was getting better!

From September to December 2017, I continued to recite the Kṣitigarbha Sutra daily for my mother and rarely went out. My life was centered around spiritual practice, and my mother’s condition gradually improved further. One day, I had a dream in which Kṣitigarbha Bodhisattva came to save my mother. Around the same time, my mother also had dreams related to karmic purification, and her health improved day by day.

By the end of December 2017, I had recited a total of 882 sutras for my mother’s karmic creditors (this number includes recitations specifically dedicated to her aborted children and the animals she had harmed, such as cats and dogs). Additionally, I had donated over 15,000 yuan toward life-release activities and recited the Amitabha Dharani for Rebirth in Pureland. My mother said that in all the years of her illness, she had never felt as well as she did at that time.

At the same time, her blood sugar levels, previously controlled only by medication, also stabilized. Whereas before, she needed treatment drugs daily, now she only needed some health supplements, and her blood sugar levels remained stable. Nowadays, she is energetic, actively doing household chores, and occasionally going out to meet friends. Our family lives in harmony and joy. Relatives and friends all commented that she looked much healthier and more spirited.

Through this experience, both my mother and father developed strong faith in the law of cause and effect, gained trust in the Triple Gem, took refuge in Buddhism, and began reciting sutras themselves. Occasionally, I would share with them stories of karmic cause and effect that I had heard, to help strengthen their faith and remind them to refrain from all evil and practice all virtues. I hope that the seeds of liberation planted in their ālaya-vijñāna (storehouse consciousness) will soon take root and sprout.

I would also like to briefly share my personal transformation during this period. Through reciting the Kṣitigarbha Sutra, under the compassionate blessings of Kṣitigarbha Bodhisattva, I gradually became aware of many of my own shortcomings.

Reflecting on some of the obstacles I had faced in life, I realized that everything had its karmic cause. For instance, a few years ago, I had conflicts with a female colleague. She had also been my former colleague at a previous company, where we had initially been good work partners. Since I was in charge of a project we worked on together, when she made a mistake, I gloated over it and instead of reminding her to correct it, I selfishly took advantage of the situation to make myself look better in front of our boss. As a result, when our boss noticed her mistake, he became dissatisfied with her and nearly fired her. (She was unaware of my deliberate neglect at that time.) Later, when we met again in a new company, misunderstandings arose (due to karmic entanglement), and she started to hold a grudge against me, opposing me at every turn and using various means to harm me. I resented her deeply for the harm she caused me.

After reciting large numbers of the Kṣitigarbha Sutra, I gradually understood the karmic causes and effects of this incident. I repented in my heart for my selfishness and ignorance, which had turned a good relationship into a hostile one. We should never harbor intentions to harm any sentient being; instead, we should strive to benefit others whenever possible. If we harm others, we must bear the resulting karmic consequences ourselves. Since I had once hindered someone’s work, I later faced difficulties and numerous obstacles in my own career. The law of cause and effect is undeniable.

I am deeply grateful to Kṣitigarbha Bodhisattva! Grateful to the Dharma protectors! Grateful to all virtuous teachers! May the merits of sharing this story be dedicated to my mother’s karmic creditors across her lifetimes, bringing them liberation from suffering and rebirth in the pureland. I sincerely hope that this story inspires more people to believe in the law of cause and effect, refrain from all evil, and practice all good deeds!

Wishing everyone peace, health, and swift progress toward enlightenment!

A Buddhist Disciple

January 27, 2018

Vajrasattva makes all other practices work

Nedo Rinpoche

Take the Vajrasattva practice, for instance. Sometimes people think it is insignificant, just a (preliminary) practice you do to reach a “real practice” such as a yidam.

Some people think that, “Oh, I will only really get the blessing with the yidam, so now I just have to go through the preparatory stages.” We should not underestimate the Vajrasattva practice.

It purifies all our obscurations and our negativity. Once you have completed the practice, then if you do other practices or make wishes—if you have fully purified your obscurations—then your wishes are immediately fulfilled. Whatever practice you do, you immediately get results if you have purified yourself beforehand.

The point is to have a pure vessel. A good example is if you want to cook food and you have rice and butter and all the ingredients, but you don’t have the pot yet—what will you do, cook it in your hands? It is very important to have a good clean pot to cook in.

It is the same with dharma practice. That is called having a pure vessel; the clean pot stands for this. Being a pure vessel means having the devotion and pure trust in the Buddha and the teachings and compassion for all beings.

Without these, you can practice whatever you want, but you will obtain no results. That is why it is important to purify yourself with Vajrasattva, with the one-hundred-syllable mantra, and with the nectar which you visualize flowing into your body through the top of your head. If you have obstacles, you may also practice Tara and you should do the Mahakala invocation every day.

(Nedo Rinpoche is the Vajra Master for Karmapa)

Overly complicated mind

Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche

I told you this story before. It happened when I first received teachings of the Longsal Ngondro (Preliminary Treasury that Pleases The Ears) from Lama Achuk Rinpoche. When I began practicing the Ngondro, I had just returned to my hometown. I stayed in a secluded holy place above Kolri Monastery, where generations of lineage masters had practiced. An old monk was guiding me in my practice. There was another old monk in retreat nearby. There were only three of us living on the mountain. The two old monks spent their time meditating in retreat, while I practiced the Ngondro.

One day, a lay practitioner came and said he had left home in such a rush that he forgot to bring thick thread. His original intention was to bring thick thread and request the two old monks to make blessed vajra knots that he could collect the next time he came. But since he was in such a hurry, he did not have time to buy thicker thread, he could only bring some fine sewing thread. He gave the thread to me and asked, "When you have some spare time, could you twist these fine threads into thicker ones, tie them into vajra knots and have the two monks bless them so that I can get them the next time I come?" I said, “Okay.”

At that time, I was still a little monk and since I couldn’t trouble the two elderly monks with twisting the finer threads into thicker strands, I decided to do it myself. It happened to be the completion of a certain section of my practice, so I went outside where there were many trees around. I tied one end of the thread to a tree trunk and began twisting the fine thread into a thicker strand by myself.

While I was doing this, one of the old monks walked by. He had a daily habit of walking a few laps around the retreat area, which wasn’t very large. When he saw me twisting the thread like that, he was astonished and exclaimed, “This really is the degenerate age! It’s terrifying how complicated young people’s minds have become. Something that would normally require two people to do, they find a way to do alone. Such a complicated mind!”

At the time, I thought to myself, “The old monk is making a big deal out of nothing. This is not any special technique. All I did was tie one end of the thread to the tree and twist it on the other side (so that another person is not needed to hold the other end of the thread). It’s nothing complicated at all.” But the old monk was clearly very taken aback.

Later, I reflected on it more deeply. I realized that the old monk wasn’t speaking against my creativity in managing a task cleverly. Instead, he was pointing out how scattered and restless our minds had become. Even a simple matter could lead to endless overthinking and endless doubts that needed to be resolved. It’s like the saying “looking for bones in an egg” (finding issues where none exist). Youths of this generation tend to overcomplicate everything. Our minds are overly complicated, and we think too much.

As I mused over this point further over time, I began to appreciate that the old monks weren’t lacking in wisdom. In fact, they had achieved incredible levels of spiritual realization. When this particular old monk passed away, his death was extraordinary and filled with tremendous signs of accomplishment. For someone who had reached such high spiritual attainment, what is a little worldly cleverness to him?

What shocked the old monk wasn’t my intelligence but how impure and scattered my mind was. The more one experiences the world, the more habitual tendencies multiply. When habits accumulate, calming the mind becomes extremely difficult…

Compared to the minds of past lineage masters which are pure like these old monks, our current state of mind is far more complicated— many times more so. The old monk’s remark wasn’t against gaining wisdom but a reflection on how far from simplicity and clarity our minds are. Therefore, it becomes hard (for present-day practitioners) to master meditation.

Thus, we must use appropriate methods. Shamatha (calm abiding) unrelated to liberation is not of much value. One doesn’t need spiritual practice to cease all thoughts — taking a few sleeping pills or engaging in certain worldly activities could yield similar results. This has nothing to do with true liberation.

Therefore, if we want to cultivate Shamatha that leads to liberation, we must ensure that our methods are correct. Second, it requires a great deal of time and consistent effort.

Because of the scattered nature of our minds, calming down in a short period is very challenging. It might be extremely difficult, and regardless of the difficulty, we must dedicate sufficient time to gradually quiet the mind. This is a long process, and it requires sustained effort.

I remember that when I accompanied Lama Achuk Rinpoche on travels, whenever we saw a beautiful scene, I would instinctively say, “Wow, what a beautiful place!” My master would immediately interrupt and say, “Stop planting those seeds! Haven’t you wandered in samsara long enough? Do you still want to continue sowing these habitual tendencies and roam around in the world like this?” Because of my teacher’s constant reminders, my mind experienced considerable improvements.

But in our daily lives, who is there to stop us from indulging in worldly habits? We do whatever we want and think whatever we want. Without such discipline, it becomes difficult to purify and calm the mind.

Suicide, Motivation and Life Perspective

Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche

As some of you may be aware, a Taiwanese poet/ writer (Chiung Yao) has recently taken her own life. There seems to be a lot of conversation surrounding this incident, and I have been asked for my opinion on it many times. I have to admit that my understanding is based purely on hearsay, because I haven’t read anything about it on my own. I was told that one of the reasons behind her decision to take her own life was that she did not wish to burden her family. Other reasons include wanting to have control over her own death and wanting to avoid the pain of aging and sickness and the misery of going through brutal medical treatment. I will talk about this from a Buddhist point of view and from two aspects—one being the action of taking one’s own life and the other being motivation.

Motivation is tremendously complex and subjective. This is why, in Buddhism, wisdom is the most important. One could have so-called good motivation but without wisdom, which may eventually put oneself and others in harm’s way even further. If you ask any parents why they scold their kids, they would say that they do it out of good motivation. And it’s the same rationale of “good motivation” behind such behaviours as spoiling children and excessive spending in child-rearing to the extent of exhausting one’s family inheritance. Ironically, such parents would often times only find out later that their children would never turn out the way they expected them to be.

Behind every instance of so-called motivation there is always selfishness. Selfishness is very clever—it always manages to convince you that you have good motivation. If you ask the US government why they bombed Laos, creating such grave consequence of making Laos the most bombed country in the world, they would say that they did it out of the good motivation to save mankind from the hands of the communists. On the other hand, if you ask Mr. Marx why he wrote the book Das Kapital, which created such havoc even till today, he would say that he did it out of the good motivation to save mankind from the oligarchs and plutocracy.

While not wanting to burden other people is a very wholesome motivation, there remains the question of whether one’s action would in actuality achieve this goal. For example, if one of my friends takes his or her own life with the reason of not wanting to burden me, I think I would actually feel burdened my entire life. I might even go to such extreme as to think that I am the very cause of his or her death.

It might seemingly demonstrate the wholesome quality of humility to think that we ourselves as human beings fail to contribute to the society; or worse, that our activities lead to negative impact on the society or the earth. We human beings are a burden to the earth. Not only are we not contributing to the sustainability of the earth, we are actively ruining it. From this perspective, it could perhaps be said that a single bee’s life is more significant to the earth than a whole country’s population. Nevertheless, we can make our lives worthy simply by acknowledging that we are a burden to the earth, and this acknowledgement may prompt beneficial actions. After all, we human beings are supposedly more powerful than bees, because we know how to tell stories and, we assume, bees don't. We can create narratives like "the longevity of bees is important", whereas bees are not capable of communicating to other bees such narrative as "human beings are the biggest threat to the earth". This is the reason why, even though bees, with a number in the trillions, could extinguish human beings within 24 hours, it is not happening. It would be good if we can train ourselves to tell stories, and to tell a different kind of stories.

Some people say that they take their own lives because they want to be in control. Who doesn’t? But we are not good at controlling our lives, and we never apply the right solution to gaining such control. Some of the readers may think that life is just like an espresso machine. If it gets too old and broken, one might as well just discard it in a garbage dump. But for Buddhists, life is a much more complex machine. There is something called mind, and this mind is like a sponge—it absorbs and contains all kinds of inclinations and habitual patterns. Taking one’s own life could become one of such habitual patterns. It's like scratching one's skin rashes, it can be satisfying, but if you keep scratching, your skin may never heal.

I do remember that, a few years ago, in Bhutan, a boy asked his sister for a small change to go see the latest film. When the sister couldn’t give him the change, the boy, who was only in his early teens, hanged himself. There are so many stories of young, bright, lively, joyful, jolly people taking their own lives. Of course, there must be so many reasons for them to do that; yet often times we are unable to comprehend their decision, failing to discern any apparent or plausible motive. For Buddhists, the behavior of taking one's own life is driven by tendencies or habitual patterns developed in one's many past lives, which, on a larger timescale, go far beyond any traumatic or gratifying experiences in one's childhood in this very life. One's past life experiences—happy or painful—play a very powerful role in one's current life choices.

Besides these habitual patterns, many of these young people may think that life is like a video game, which you can always recalibrate or restart. But it would not be the same once the current life is ended; and if it turns out to be the same, there would be no point at all in ending the current life. Today, a lot of young people may be smart, well informed academically and intellectually mature, but on an emotional level, they are absolutely immature and completely lack of resilience. A variety of reasons may be responsible for the lack of emotional maturity of the younger generation, one of the contributing factor being their caring, loving and ambitious parents, who are eager to make a profit, so to speak. Everybody wants to be a winner and they want to win all the time. Our education system, from nurseries all the way to high schools and universities, seems to promise a stable, secure and successful future, but we all know that things never happen as planned, assumed or expected.

Another reason for the writer to take her own life was not wishing to go through the pain of aging and sickness and the brutal agony of medical treatment. Of course, we as individuals all have different priorities. For some, it is important to avoid such pain and agony, and I have sympathy for such attitude. As for me, even one more hour of living on this earth, experiencing the skylight, the dark sky, the whistling of the trees, is worthwhile. Especially for a follower of the Shakyamuni Buddha, even one hour of the cognitive ability to understand who Buddha is and part of his teachings—either remembering it oneself or being reminded by someone else—is worthwhile. Like warriors in the battlefield, if we know our priorities, it is worth it to endure the pain of life.

The challenges we face in today’s life—the loss of physical and mental abilities, the inability to achieve one’s life goals, and so on—are, in my view, related to how we cultivate our goals and aims in our lives. A lot of people may aim to become Elon Musk, Peter Thiel or Bill Gates, as a result of the education system that was designed centuries ago to foster such life goals. This is something we need to change. And we can change—it is not rocket science. We should be aware that there can be, and there existed in history, totally different goals and lifestyles.

As a non-Chinese, when I look at Chinese paintings, there is to me clear evidence that many centuries ago many Chinese had a life goal of going into the mountains and becoming hermit, living what we call today a simple life--gazing at the morning mist, the rolling clouds, the staggered trees and rocks, for hours, weeks, months and years on end, and writing about it. With time, the Chinese have forgotten to teach and learn that kind of life goal; in fact, it may even be considered "lying flat" (Tang-ping) today. But is it really lying flat? Lying flat versus being productive is an utterly subjective matter. A world that is overwhelmingly nerve-racking, stressful and cut-throat, in which "the winner takes it all" and everyone looks out for oneself, created this anxious society which is not necessarily productive.

Our generation, or rather, my generation, is a byproduct of the previous generation's vision. While many great things have sprung into being from that vision, the previous generation have not always been wise. They created the ideas of jobs, careers and bills, and as a consequence, we as the current generation now have to live within the confines of such things, striving to get jobs, pay bills and whatnot. The design of our world is such that we can't really, to a certain extent, escape from it.

But even within the confines of such design, we could always create our own boundary. How many pairs of shoes do we really need? Should we save that money for a trip to Mount Huangshan during our next holiday? Where we could feel the majestic energy of the centuries-old rocks and soak up the vibe of a place where incredible Taoist masters thought of such astounding idea as Wu-wei--the action of non-action--something that is, not only at the time but even today, avant-garde. Perhaps the great Taoist wisdom of Wu-wei could be the answer to the looming AI revolution. A confident and relaxed citizen may be the most feared citizen by the enemy.

How we grow up and how we educate ourselves have an enormous impact on how we relate to the world. Some native American children grow up relating to mountains as a child to its mother. Their sense of purpose in life and their way of relating to the world would be quite different from that of, say, children born in a Chinese miner family who grow up perceiving mountains as mines that can be exploited and destroyed. The latter would, when grown up, relate to the world with tension and a competitive state of mind.

 

Finding the root of the problem

Jamyang Rinpoche

When we say “Dharma training”, many practitioners think of training their external conduct.  Here we are talking about “training the mind”.  No matter how you train your behavior externally, there will never come a day when things become perfect.

Take, for instance, a Bhikshu (fully ordained monk) who upholds the 253 precepts perfectly.  Can this person attain Buddhahood?  It is not certain.  If we look at the stories of Buddha’s life, we see the Bhikshu Sunaksatra who upheld all the 253 precepts purely. But he has never addressed his own mind. He only cultivated an external appearance of pure conduct. Therefore, he could not progress.

Or take another more mundane example: if we keep trimming the leaves of a tree, there will never come a time when the work is finished.  The leaves will keep growing because the tree remains alive.  However, should you destroy the root of the tree, the leaves will not grow anymore. Then the whole problem is solved.

In the same way, trying to manage our discriminating thoughts and afflictions in an external manner is an endless task.  For example, when you get angry, there is an object of your anger.  You feel aversion and dislike towards the object.  You judge the object, thinking “This is good, that is bad. This is beautiful, that is ugly. This is delicious, that is not.  This is a good person, that is not,” and so on.

You try to deal with the object you dislike.  But such efforts are never-ending. It would be more effective to address the inner emotion of anger that you have. Solve the problem of anger and all external objects will not pose a problem to you. 

Solving the problem of anger does not require you to snatch anything from others, scold others or get into a fight.  All you need is sit down quietly and observe your own mind.  Nothing else is needed.

When you succeed in cultivating your own mind, all else is perfect.

 

Impure Appearances

Jamyang Rinpoche

In 2003, I went with my cousin and a monk to Mount Wutai for retreat. I planned to carry out HH Jigme Phuntsok Rinpoche’s instruction to me to recite Manjushri’s mantra 100 million times.  When I just reached there, I saw some people in monk’s robes by the roadside smoking. In the evening, when we were buying some provisions, I saw more monks smoking and chatting at the shop’s entrance. 

I thought to myself, “In such a holy place like Manjushri’s pureland, why do I keep seeing this kind of behavior?”  I felt quite disgusted and sad at the same time.

That night, when I was meditating, I reflected, “This is the pureland of Manjushri, a genuine monk could not be engaging in such behavior.  It is my own mind that is polluted and obscured.  My mind is impure, that’s what causes external appearances to seem impure.”

Upon such reflection, I practiced the Guru Yoga of Lama Achuk Rinpoche and meditated.  The next morning, I also meditated.  By noon, it was getting hot and I felt a little tired. My companions were outside making a meal. I thought of taking a break before continuing with some recitations.  When I fell asleep, I dreamed of my Guru, Lama Achuk Rinpoche, appearing in the space above.  He was holding something large in his hand, and around me were many little animals of all kinds. 

Lama Rinpoche passed the thing he was holding in his hand to me.  I took a look at it and saw that it was a pot of milk tea. As I was deliberating on how to drink the milk tea, Lama Rinpoche said, “Just drink directly from the pot.”

I drank the tea directly from the pot. I was a little apprehensive that the tea would be too hot and scald me. But it wasn’t hot at all. Instead, there was a feeling of coolness. I downed the entire pot at one go. Then I woke up.  By this time, my companions had come in with the prepared food and told me to take my meal.

From the next day on, and for the rest of my entire stay there for one month, I never again saw any monks smoking or any kind of impure appearances.  I concluded that when you see an impure or contaminated appearance, you should pray to the Guru strongly, meditate and do your practice. This way, you will receive the blessings of Guru and purify your mind. This is one of my practice experiences.

 

Progress beyond being stuck

Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche

No matter who you are, if you practice according to the lineage Gurus’ teachings, it is for sure that you will realize the meditative view you are looking for… During each teaching, I explain techniques for bringing your meditation to the next level — what conditions are needed etc. Therefore, you need to keep studying the teachings of the lineage Gurus. 

Khenpo Ngagchung said that no matter how much theory you understood, when it came to practice, you need the experiential advice of a qualified teacher to gain realization. This means that books are only an explanation.  But many, many profound instructions are not recorded in words.  You need an experienced and qualified teacher to transmit it to you…

Taking the Chan tradition’s Venerable Huineng as an example, he had a very sharp acumen, but it was only after receiving the fifth Chan ancestor’s teaching that he attained true realisation.  Although Huineng did not go through many years of systematic teaching under his teacher, he needed his teacher’s transmission or blessings. 

This goes to show how profound this blessing is.  It has some secret meanings in it.  This is what we need to receive from our teachers.  In the process of explaining the instructions, we are also trying to transmit this to disciples.

But you have to practice according to what is taught. As said, whether your meditation can progress to the next level depends on taking hold of this secret meaning.   If not, no matter how well you practice, you are only becoming more well-versed or accustomed to the meditation, there is no way to progress to the next level because you have already sealed the path upwards. There is no way to elevate your meditation.  This is how some practitioners are.

I have met some practitioners in various places. Although what they are practicing is not called “shamatha with object”; they might like to call their meditation other names such as “objectless shamatha” etc, but basically, they were stuck in the meditation of “shamatha with object or reference point”. 

There is something they were fixating on (whether it is a physical object or a mental object such as ‘clarity’, ‘awareness’, ‘emptiness’, ‘bliss’ etc).  They have practiced for many, many years.  Ultimately, their meditative ability has progressed to only being more adept at maintaining their ‘state’.  They have become more familiar with their meditation.  It comes more easily to them.  But there is no way for them to enter a deeper meditation.  Basically, there is no deeper meditation to speak of for them.

What is the reason?  They did not have the technique.  They were just practicing in a robotic or rigid manner.   They were getting more and more used to this ‘meditation’.  It was getting easier and more habitual to them.  But they remained stuck there.  There was no progress.

Therefore, we should remember that there are such layers of secret meanings in the Dharma path.  Following a teacher is for the sake of understanding these principles.  In your Dharma path, remember this and you will have more and more progress in your path.

Soft and flexible corpse is a sign of rebirth in pureland?

Phurpa Tashi Rinpoche

If assisted chanting (of mantras or Buddha-names) at the point of death is done with compassion, the blessings of the mantra become greater. Moreover, mantras are liberation by hearing, so this has an even greater significance.  But I can’t say for sure if this enables the deceased to take rebirth in pureland.

What is the reason? We have all heard many teachings from pure and qualified teachers and even heard much Dharma chanting from groups who do assisted chanting.  But looking back at our mind, it still seems hard and unchanged. 

Therefore, can assisted chanting ensure that the deceased take rebirth in pureland?  I do not dare to say so. 

A leader of such a group asked me this question too. If the body of the corpse becomes soft and flexible, can we take that to be an auspicious sign of taking rebirth in pureland?    If the deceased’s body was soft and flexible all the way from the point of death onwards, that is truly a remarkable sign.  It means that this person had not the slightest fear in facing death. 

When there is fear, the body tenses up.  This is something we all know. When we were young and went to the hospital to receive an injection, the nervousness would cause our muscles to become taut or tight. The doctor had to coax us saying, “It is not painful, I have not injected yet.” Then wham, he would inject us when we were slightly relaxed. When we are nervous, the body is tense.

At the point of death, the mind is suffering and fearful, the body would therefore be tense.  Before long, the corpse would become rigid.  If a person is relaxed, the body would not be so stiff.  But after a while, the body would become soft and flexible again.  This is a natural process.  I once asked a policeman from the criminal department about this and he said, “After some hours, the deceased’s corpse becomes softer.” So, when we check the flexibility of the corpse, we have to check the timing it becomes soft and flexible.  But could this be taken as a sign of rebirth in pureland, I can’t say for sure…

For the question you just asked, if I should brazenly give a definite answer, and if my answer were wrong, the negative karma would be equivalent to digging out the eyes of all sentient beings in the six realms (as taught by Lama Achuk Rinpoche).  This is how severe the karma is.

Sometimes when I hear how some teachers speak, I think they are quite daring. Perhaps it is due to not understanding the severity of the karma, or maybe there is no fear of the consequences.  But I am afraid, truly afraid!  Since I took ordination from the age of 12 till now, I have been learning Dharma and trusting fully in cause-and-effect.  Isn’t all these because I am afraid of cause-and-effect? 

If I don’t know something, I would say that I don’t know. Lama Achuk Rinpoche has never said definitively that the corpse softening and becoming flexible is a sign of rebirth in purelands, so I would not say that it is a sure sign.

 

Mahakala brought him to Sukhavati

Kathok Rigzin Chenpo Rinpoche

It is my family’s tradition to practice the Tsogdak Mahakala (an enlightened Dharma protector). This has been carrying on for more than 300 years.  Everyone in the family specialises in this practice, reciting more Mahakala than even the Mani mantra or Amitabha mantra.

All the family members whether young or old, male or female, adore Mahakala.  They practice Mahakala even more than Guru Rinpoche. In the Nyingma school, Guru Rinpoche is considered the universal practice. But my family loves to practice Tsogdak Mahakala.

They regard Mahakala as their father, as their mother, or someone who is very close to their heart. I remember that when we had large ceremonies for Mahakala, when it came to the supplication prayers or prayers for invoking Mahakala, many people wept out of sheer devotion whether it was the monastics or the laypeople.  Everyone was crying. They felt that kind of closeness and affection for Mahakala.

My generation is less emotional than the previous generations (Rinpoche laughs).  The previous generation had very strong clinging to Mahakala.  It is based on self-grasping.  They felt that Mahakala belonged to them.  Mahakala was their father.  Like the people in the Rebkong region in Tibet who focused on Palden Lhamo.  They called Palden Lhamo “mother”.  Or like in the Chinese culture, we have people who were adopted by Kwan Yin as their foster children…these people had very endearing terms for their chosen deity, calling them “Mother” and so on…

For some worldly protectors, if you practice them today and you miss the practice tomorrow, their retinues would get angry and give you trouble.  We should avoid these types of practices.  I seldom practice such protectors. I generally do not recommend people to practice protectors. If you have to practice, then Mahakala or Palden Lhamo is enough.  For the rest… the monasteries do these practices, but for individual practitioners, it is better not to do these practices.  People who can’t even manage to practice their yidam deities well will not get much results from protector practices anyway.

So, I often advise people not to practice protectors too much, especially for less well-known protectors that most people barely know about.  It is better not to touch such practices. Otherwise, it is easy to invite the deity but difficult to send him away.  By the time you decide to stop the practice, the protector might not allow you to stop.  A lot of problems will come…

(With regards to Tsogdak Mahakala,) my faith cannot be compared to my grandparents.  While I also have faith, it cannot be compared to theirs, or at least the sense of closeness is not like theirs. I have doubtless faith in Mahakala but it is not like theirs. Many of them saw Mahakala instead of Amitabha when they were passing away.

My great grandfather recited Mahakala’s mantra several hundred million times. Many locals wanted to keep his hair or a piece of his clothing because they felt that it was like an amulet that protects against bullets or knives.  Everyone had that kind of faith in him. 

When he was passing away, he did not see Amitabha, he saw Mahakala instead. Before he died, he did a smoke offering to Mahakala. He lived to the age of 101. That year, he told people that he was leaving this world and that Mahakala was coming to bring him to Sukhavati. The deity that came to bring him to Sukhavati was not Chenrezig or Amitabha, it was Mahakala.

After the large smoke puja which he had invited several masters to conduct on his behalf, he sat down and recited the Aspiration of Samantabhadra.  Following that, he recited several Mahakala mantras and then passed on.  At that time, Bero Rinpoche and several masters were present at the house and were performing a Mahakala puja.  My great grandfather sat with them within their sight and recited the Aspiration of Samantabhadra together, then reciting Mahakala mantras, he left his body.

There are many similar cases.  These people had enormous faith.  Therefore, we can definitely receive Mahakala’s blessings. You need not have any doubt or dispute this point. The main thing is to have faith.

Skilful means and what ordinary practitioners like us need to focus on

Kathok Rigzin Chenpo Rinpoche

Every practitioner on the Bodhisattva path will certainly meet with obstacles.  This is normal because we have accumulated much non-virtue in the past.  These non-virtues have to be allowed to ripen and be purified on our path. During this process, obstacles and hardships are to be expected.

When we meet with obstacles, we need methods to transform these obstacles into practice. Every practitioner has to understand this and learn these methods.

If you have the right understanding, every obstacle has its good qualities. If you use the view of emptiness to face this obstacle, then the obstacle becomes an appearance of mind and dissolves into emptiness. 

If you use loving-kindness and compassion as an antidote, then you feel that you are willing to endure every obstacle on the behalf of sentient beings for their purification.  This type of feeling will arise spontaneously. 

If you look at the obstacle from the perspective of cause-and-effect, you see that it is the result of previous non-virtue you have created yourself and so you must take up the responsibility and bear it through. 

Thus, when obstacles come, we need to know the various skilful means to transform these obstacles and raise the level of our practice. If we do not know these methods, our minds are unable to manage these obstacles even if we wish to use them as a practice.

Should our view be unstable, we may even lose our faith.  When our meditative ability is not strong enough, even though we may wish to utilise these obstacles on the path, it doesn’t work out.  Therefore, we need to know these skilful methods (and train in them beforehand). 

In the Sutra on the Great Vast Skilful Means, the five sensory pleasures are transformed into the Dharma path with various skilful methods.  Skilful methods are methods of relative truth.  They are a manifestation of the Buddha’s wisdom. If we utilize these skilful methods, many obstacles can be removed and wisdom increased. 

Recitation of mantras, Buddhas’ names, praying to Buddhas etc are skilful methods.  In particular, the methods of removing obstacles are skilful methods. 

If we have not developed unshakable certainty in the view, if our practice is inconsistent, if our meditative ability is weak and unsteady, for such situations, we need to use methods of interdependence (tendrel) or skilful means. 

We need to depend on the power of the aspirations of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, the power of the truth in mantras and so on to dissolve the obstacles, increase our wisdom and perfect the accumulations for the path.

For most people, between the methods for relative truth and the methods for ultimate truth, which is more effective? From the perspective of Dharma, it is the ultimate truth that is more powerful.  But in terms of effectiveness for most people, it is the relative truth methods which are more powerful.

Our five sense-organs of eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body are very real to us.  And the five sense-objects which these five sense-organs contact (such as visual sight, sounds, smell, taste and tactile sensations) also feels very real to us.

When we see any object with our eyes, even though your intellectual understanding is that it is emptiness and non-arising, but when our visual consciousness interacts with this visual object (ie, when we are aware of seeing this object), it affects our mind. 

Through the influence of relative truth, our minds are so affected that what we see can make us regress on the Dharma path, or equally, it can inspire us so much that we advance further on the path and develop deeper wisdom.

Therefore, our five senses can pose an obstacle to our practice if you do not know how to utilise them. If you know how to use them skilfully, they become a favourable condition that increases our wisdom.

On the Dharma path, we need to know these skilful means. Therefore, the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas created limitless numbers of skilful means for us.  There are methods like making offerings, giving charity, recitation of mantras and Buddhas’ names, mandalas, blessed substances, etc. These are all methods based on interdependence (or dependent-arising, tendrel).

Although we have seen, heard of and know these skilful methods, but if we do not know how to utilise them properly, it is no different from dying of starvation in a pantry.  It is next to impossible to die of hunger in a pantry filled with all kinds of food, but if you do not know how to use these foods, then you will still die despite being surrounded by food.

These methods are given for ordinary beings. Bodhisattvas on the eighth bhumi and above are able to dispel any obstacle by the power of their meditation, they have no need of most of these skilful means.  These skilful means are mainly for ordinary beings.

These methods are very effective for ordinary beings like us. We should be clear about where we are on the Dharma path. This is very important. A Dharma method may be very advanced or exalted, but if it does not correspond to your capacity or your stage on the path, it will not merge with your mind and becomes useless to you.

We can’t judge people. Maybe many of us here are great Bodhisattvas and Mahasiddhas.  Maybe there are many emanations of great masters here. No matter how a person appears, it is entirely possible that they are such precious emanations.

But if that is not the case, and if we are just ordinary beings, then we need to start from the path of accumulation.  First, we need to enter the five paths (in the Mahayana system) and then start from the lower section of the path of accumulation (path of accumulation is sub-divided into lower, middling and higher). 

On the lower path of accumulation, the most important factor is faith.  Cultivating faith is the most urgent matter for practitioners like us.  That is your main job or responsibility on the lower path of accumulation.  That is what you need to emphasize on most.

For the other parts of Dharma, if you are unable to comprehend them or put them into practice, it does not really matter.  For us who are on the lower path of accumulation, our main task is to increase and stabilise our faith.

At the same time, we should watch our mind.  The four mindfulness are the main practice on the lower path of accumulation.  Thus, we need to settle our minds, understand our own minds and know how to use our minds.  This is the most important point.

At this stage, to cultivate faith, we need to read the sutras extensively.  We need to read the biographies and stories of many Bodhisattvas or great practitioners. 

We need to understand the enlightened qualities of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. When you have a deep understanding of their qualities and develop a deep enduring faith, then your homework is complete (for this part of the path).

 

What to do if little progress

Kathok Rigzin Chenpo Rinpoche

Some of us practitioners find ourselves not making much progress.  Our practice last year, this year and probably next year seems static. Nothing much shifts. For some people, this can even be said for their entire life of practice.

When we are in such a rut, what should we do? There are some favourable conditions we can create if we are brave and make efforts.

Sometimes, we listen to the Dharma and understand very little, or we cannot absorb the Dharma into our hearts when we contemplate it, or the practice does not seem to make any improvements. In such situations, Lama Tsongkhapa and many other lineage masters said that we must rely on the merit field to make changes.

Firstly, we need to think of the Guru and the Triple Gems. We should think of their good qualities and pray to them frequently to receive their blessings. This is the most important point — using the power of faith to break through the bottlenecks in our practice.

Secondly, we need to accumulate merits and confess our negativities.  Apart from our usual offerings and charity-giving, there are special occasions at special timings and with special objects of offerings that we can accumulate merits and make confessions.  There are special times each year, month or day when practitioners should perform special practices which help to boost the power or strength of our Dharma practice.  

If we practitioners do not have a mind of confession; if we constantly think that we are right; if arrogance is not subdued, then there is absolutely no hope for Dharma practice to progress.  The first rule in Buddhism is to make three prostrations when we come to the shrine.  The reason for this is to subdue our ego or pride.  This is our first precept or rule.  The act of prostration eliminates pride, thereby removing all barriers between you and the Triple Gems. Then it is much easier to attune to the Triple Gems.

Therefore, it is important to keep making confession and purification.  Furthermore, you have to keep accumulating merits.  Without merits, nothing works. When merits are insufficient, all the knowledge is of little use, it might even become the cause of misconceptions or deviant views. Dharma knowledge then becomes no different from mundane knowledge.  You can generate a very perverted view. This is very possible. A small misstep at the start and you miss the destination by ten thousand miles. 

Sometimes one can understand a lot, but if merits are meager and purification is lacking, all the knowledge becomes quite futile. Thus, accumulation of merits and purification are very important.  Although I have said this many times, this point is so crucial to all practitioners that I am repeating it again for the benefit of those who seem not to hear it.

Next, in our practice, we must often observe our own minds and make necessary adjustments to wrong ideas or conceptions.  This augments our wisdom and makes us open to realizations. This is very important.

Otherwise, we find that no matter how we study, our knowledge and wisdom doesn’t increase. No matter how we practice, our Dharma power doesn’t increase. Then it is for sure that there is some flaw or mistake somewhere in us.  So, it is really important to self-reflect and make necessary corrections.

Faith takes time

Kathok Rigzin Chenpo Rinpoche

To us practitioners, a steadfast faith is like a wish-fulfilling jewel — very precious and very important. But cultivating this type of faith is not easy and takes time.  Don’t be too impatient to cultivate faith, it takes time.

In Lama Tsongkhapa’s Lamrim Chenmo (Great Treatise on the Systematic Path), three analogies are used to explain this in the style of oral instructions… the first analogy is climbing a high mountain. 

To climb a mountain, you cannot break into a run, you have to hike upwards slowly.  Similarly, one has to progress through the five paths and ten bhumis in a gradual way.  The qualities have to be slowly accomplished.  The gathering of the stock of merits takes time. Purification of karma and obscurations also takes time. You need time to cut through self-grasping too.

It is useless to be impatient or hurried about it. In fact, the more you hurry, the easier it is for your faith to backslide.  Therefore, to climb a high mountain, one cannot rush but must go gradually.

The second analogy is that when dealing with any important or major matter, one has to learn to bide one’s time. One has to take the time to plan and put in the necessary efforts or fork out the necessary price, whether it is through one’s body, life or knowledge and so on, to accomplish that project. These two analogies are similar, but the explanations differ a little.

The third analogy is of eating a fish.  If you swallow the entire fish at one go, the bones will stick in your throat and choke you.  When you eat a fish, you must look carefully for bones. This means that you must be attentive to the details of each stage of the path, without missing anything out. 

For instance, cultivating renunciation requires certain conditions, methods and goals.  The same goes for generating Bodhichitta and the view of emptiness. You need to look into the fine details of all the requirements for each level of practice. 

The problem is when you miss something out or dismiss it as unimportant. Then the final outcome would be failure.  It’s like eating the fish unmindfully while talking, then you would swallow some bones.

In summary, we must be slow when climbing the mountain, take our time or have the patience to wait when we are dealing with a matter of great importance, and be meticulous about details when eating a fish.  With these three analogies, the entire oral instructions of the Lamrim Chenmo can be explained.  Not the entire contents of Lamrim Chenmo, but just the oral instructions…

Why am I explaining this? When we practitioners do practice and don’t get any responses or results, we often get discouraged or feel impatient, but you should not feel this way. Sometimes, you transgress some vows or precepts, you may feel discouraged or your mind may regress on the path, but that is not necessary. This is a very normal situation, and what you need to do is continue to forge ahead bravely.

Many people have stopped their Ngondros halfway. Some people have broken their continuity of practice when they reach up to the section on mandala offering etc.  Many of our disciples have broken their continuity once, twice… up to five times.

In our lineage, the moment you break your continuity, you have start from zero again. Some people have practiced Ngondro for more than a decade because they have broke the continuity.  Breaking means that your faith and determination in the Dharma path is not stable. You do not value Dharma practice highly enough.  This is my teacher Chatral Rinpoche’s rule.  I heard that Paltrul Rinpoche had this rule too. I have not seen it written in any of his works. But Paltrul Rinpoche’s lineage is like that.

If Chatral Rinpoche heard that someone had broken the continuity of Ngondro, he would give that person a good scolding.  He would say that this person did not value the Dharma and the determination to accomplish Dharma is very weak. Then, he would tell the disciple to start over from scratch.  Most of his disciples finished the Ngondro at one go. Only a small number of them broke in the middle.

But among my disciples, a huge number of people have broken the continuity of their Ngondro (Rinpoche and everyone laughs). Many people here broke the flow of practice because of their busy jobs.  When they reached home, they just fell asleep; by the time they remembered the next morning, the time has already passed.

Hence, what we are saying here is that you should not be discouraged, sad or disappointed even if you have broken the continuity of your practice.  Some people even think, “Maybe I am not suitable for Dharma practice?” and so on.  As long as you are reluctant to break your practice, as long as you are not doing it on purpose, it means that your mind is still on the path, only that the determination is not stable and enduring enough. 

It is like the signal on the handphone which is choppy and breaking up every now and then, but at least the sound is still coming through in general.  Your determination is like the signal, it is not strong or clear enough, so it is harder to connect with the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.  If your signal or determination is strong enough, the connection to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas is definite and you will receive responses.

 

Signs of Progress

Yangthang Rinpoche

Once you have begun your dharma practice you should definitely experience your ignorance decreasing, your aggression decreasing, your pride decreasing, your attachment and desire decreasing, your jealousy and competitiveness decreasing, and your mind becoming more peaceful and tame.

These are signs of accomplishment. When you hear the dharma teachings, when you meditate, when you practice, the root of all dharma is to tame the mind. The signs of accomplishment that you think are important, like having visions of deities or attaining some kind of power, are actually not the true signs —they are just attributes.

The real sign is the changing of your mind, the subsiding of the five conflicting emotions, the lessening of your attachment to samsara, the decreasing of your self-centered attitude and less desire to be famous or gain profit or impress others.

The true sign is that your constant attraction to the short-lived pleasures of this world decreases. If this is your experience, then you are really experiencing the signs of true dharma accomplishment.

Being able to fly in space or leave your footprint in stone are signs of some siddhi, some power, but they are not signs of the ultimate result, which is nothing other than the pacification of delusion and conflicting emotions.

You need to check and see if your path of practice is producing these results or not. You should always remember that it is only this one time that you have a precious human rebirth, only now, and that is certain.

This life that you have right now, this precious human rebirth with its opportunities, is the result of lifetimes of accumulating merit and purifying negative karmic obscurations.

All the efforts that you made in past lifetimes, working very hard to accumulate merit and purify obscurations, have produced this precious result that you are now experiencing.

But if you don't do anything with it now that you have it, then all that effort will be wasted because your good merit and fortune will be exhausted very quickly in this lifetime, and once it is exhausted there is only one place to go back to — the lower realms of existence.

So you should never waste your precious human rebirth.

Understand that what you have accomplished in the past you should continue to accomplish in the present. Everything that you have done in the past you need to continue doing, even more so now, because now is the opportunity to be liberated.

You must abandon all negativities and work hard to accumulate only that which is good and positive so that you never have to take rebirth in the lower realms again.

If you really aspire to have compassion and love for others, first of all you should have it for yourself. If you can't even love yourself enough to use your precious life in a meaningful way, then that is a very great shame and a very great waste.

My only wish is that you will truly practice dharma. Whether you are practicing tsa-lung-tigle, or dzogchen meditation, or OM MANI PEME HUNG Avalokiteshvara practice, practice it well, and do your best to avoid accumulating negative karma.

You should never harm any being for any reason and you should abandon negative conduct. You should definitely abandon smoking cigarettes — it is a very negative thing and is harmful to your precious human body. You should eliminate all of these kinds of things that are of no use to you and only cause you harm. There is no point in doing them.

In conclusion, I would just like to say that I, myself, have no experience in meditation. I am not a meditator but I have heard many teachings from many great lamas on the view, meditation, and conduct.

All that I have taught you is just talk, a brief explanation based on no experience. Don't consider me a dzogchen lama or even a teacher. I am just someone who has been talking about it. If you find it useful, then practice it, and if you don't, then forget it.

I will always consider each and every one of you my special dharma friend. I cannot say that I consider you my students because I don't have the qualities of a lama but, as a dharma friend, wherever I go, if l ever meet any of you, I will feel nothing but happiness to meet you again.

A story of a great practitioner (1)

Khenpo Orgyen Kalzang

Dear all Dharma friends,

It is very hard to announce that my mother passed away on October 26th, 2024, which is now over two weeks since her passing. She was very dear to me, and through her kind support, I was able to become a monk and achieve the dharma life. I took this as her last advice for me: to see the impermanence, even your dear mother will definitely separate one day. As a son, I have to take care of all her final fulfillments to complete her spiritual journey to Guru Rinpoche’s pure land.

In response to some students' requests, also I’d like to share about her life and how she showed signs of being a great meditator.

My mother, Tsewang Drolma, was born in 1944 in Mugu, a high region of the Himalayas in Nepal’s Karnali Province. In her early life, she was raised in her hometown as a normal child without any formal education or schooling. After her marriage to my father, they left their hometown to seek a living and arrived in Sikkim, India, to see the 16th Karmapa after walking for 15 days on foot.

Coincidentally, it was a time when Tibetans were fleeing to India after the Chinese invasion, and India was in its early stages of nation-building. Life was extremely hard to survive during that time. For example, she worked as a laborer in road construction, built houses, and even sold homemade beer to make money, which was a normal way of life for women back then.

She had to make many efforts to raise us, her children. They witnessed the war between Pakistan and India near Iyol Camp, Dharamshala, and hid in an army tent at night after working on the road during the day. She spent most of her early life in India, moving from place to place for nearly 30-40 years, particularly in the northern areas where His Holiness the Dalai Lama resides, in Dharamshala and the small town of Manali in the Himalayan region.

They returned to Nepal and built our house in Kathmandu in 2000, where she stayed near the Boudhanath Stupa until her last journey.

About her later life as a practitioner:

Since then, she began doing long prostrations at the stupa, from her sixties to her eighties, for over 20 years. She often made offerings of water and flowers on the 8th, 15th, and 30th of each month, which are special days in the Tibetan calendar—full moon, new moon, Medicine Buddha days, as well as Guru Rinpoche and Dakini days.

She was very dedicated and determined once she set a goal. At her request, I taught her how to memorize the Ngondro text, as she couldn’t read or write Tibetan letters. Slowly, she memorized the concise text of the Dudjom New Treasure Ngondro in one year. She was a strict vegetarian for the last 30 years and made a commitment to complete the fasting practice 108 times, as taught by H.E. Lama Sherab Gyaltsen from Swayambhu Stupa, completing more than 115 times before she passed away.

She also received and practiced Phowa until a sign occurred from H.E. Choeje Ayang Rinpoche for several years in Bodhgaya, which is a highly regarded Drikung Rainbow-Body Phowa teaching in the Drikung tradition. Additionally, she received the Kalachakra empowerment from His Holiness the Dalai Lama in the early years in India.

She was very diligent in practicing the dharma with pure devotion and expressed to me her wish to practice Ngondro more deeply. She received the lung (oral transmission) many times from HH Dudjom Yangsid Sangye Pema Shepa Rinpoche, HH Dungse Thinley Norbu, and other teachers.

Later, I took her to H.E. Lama Yeshe Sangpo Rinpoche for Ngondro instruction and recorded the teachings, which I later explained to her in our mother tongue so she could understand the proper visualization and essence of the practice. Gradually, she began to practice Ngondro under the guidance of H.E. Lama Rinpoche and HH Dudjom Yangsid Rinpoche, and I assisted in explaining the instructions.

I remember she would start her Ngondro session early at 4 a.m., and another session in the evening before dinner. In the last more than 20 years, she completed the Ngondro four times—the five hundred thousand Ngondro accumulation and 40 million Guru Yoga recitations for each Ngondro, as well as more than 1.3 million long prostrations in front of the great Boudha Stupa.

In 2010, she received all the precious empowerments and teachings from H.H. Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche during the Three Month Dharma Wheel Teaching at Pharping Samye Monastery. There, she received oral explanation of heart instructions of Dzogchen texts, such as "Strike the three words into the crucial point," "Treasury qualities of Dharmadhatu,”Longchenpa’s The Final Instruction on the Ultimate Meaning," the "Mountain advice" from Dudjom Rinpoche and Yeshe Tsogyal's last testimony: the essence of the butter, the Dzogchen heart instruction from Guru Rinpoche etc.

After that, with instruction from HE Lama Yeshe Sangpo Rinpoche, she focused mainly on Guru Yoga and Dzogchen practice focusing on nature of mind until her last days. In 2012, she received the complete treasure cycle of empowerment and transmission of the Dudjom Tersar lineage, including both the early and later cycles of Dudjom Lingpa and Dudjom Jigdrel Yeshe Dorje from HH Dudjom Rinpoche Sangye Pema Shepa, the supreme head of the Dudjom lineage.

The astonishing last moments of her life:

On October 22, 2024, she was deemed unlikely to survive, as she had stopped eating and was placed on an oxygen mask to help her breathe. Though deeply asleep, she could still feel our presence after her long battle with both old and new illnesses, given her age. I reminded her about Guru Yoga and asked her to focus on the nature of mind and the heart instructions she had received from the Rinpoches.

After four days, on the early morning of October 26th, she left her body in her room, where she normally practiced. It was an extremely auspicious Dakini day, and it seemed as if she had been waiting for this day. As she was a very ordinary and simple woman without holding any great title or position, no one expected anything extraordinary. After a long period, her body remained unchanged and kept warmth at the heart area, which made me doubt a little.

On the second day, I consulted some lamas who are specialists in Thukdam (the meditative state after death), and once they visited, we confirmed she was in a luminous state. We left her body undisturbed for three days until she showed signs of completing her meditation. Throughout this period, the body emitted no bad smell, but the room was filled with a unique scent, similar to incense or perfume, as witnessed by all close relatives who were present.

On the fourth day, she showed signs of completing her Thukdam. In this hot weather, her body remained in the house for six days without any supportive materials to prevent decay or smell. As HH Chatral Rinpoche had recognized the place as special for cremation, on the sixth day, at the Ramadoli cremation ground, as instructed by H.E. Lama Yeshe Sangpo Rinpoche, we conducted her funeral.

H.E. Nyoshul Khenpo Yangsid Jampal Yeshe Dorje Rinpoche kindly presided over by the ritual of the fire puja to offer her body to the fire-goddess, Yumchen Gokarmo. During this ritual, there was no unpleasant smell, and no smoke rose from the fire. Some of my students who attended the funeral later remarked on this. The sun was unusually bright, and its rays appeared in a different color.

When I spoke to the lamas about this, they said it was a good sign for the rest of the family, indicating that we would be blessed. For me, it felt like her last goodbye to us.

For me, she is an example of the profundity and preciousness of the Vajrayana path in this age. Those who take this path into practice will, no matter what, be blessed by this secret yana. I also believe that she received the benefits of the Vajra Guru Mantra, which Guru Rinpoche often mentioned in his treasure teachings:

The Benefits of the Vajra Guru Mantra and an Explanation of Its Syllables, A Treasure Text Revealed by Tulku Karma Lingpa says:

“ If you can do thirty million, seventy million, or more recitations, you will never be separate from the Buddhas of the three times nor ever apart from me; thus, the eight classes of gods and spirits will obey your orders, praise your words, and accomplish whatever tasks you entrust to them. At best, practitioners will attain the rainbow body; failing that, at the time of death, mother and child luminosities will meet; and at the very least, they will see me in the bardo and, with all their perceptions liberated into their essential nature, will be reborn in Ngayab Ling and accomplish immeasurable benefit for sentient beings.”

Additionally, I’m very grateful to those Guru Rinpoche in human flesh, the great and accomplished masters who transmit their blessings through their instructions and compassionate wisdom, allowing her to appear as a great meditator in the end.

These are a few practices to which she dedicated her whole life:

1. Strict vegetarianism

2. Offering water and flowers to the Three Jewels

3. Practicing Guru Yoga

4. Long prostrations

We are accumulating 10 million Vajra Guru Mantras and 10 million Mani Mantras for her final fulfillment, as instructed by my teachers... I would like to thank all the friends and students for supporting us in completing the accumulations.

This was briefly written at the request of some students during the second week of the Vajrasatva practice offering for my Late mother Mrs Tsewang Drolma.