Khenpo Sodargye
I have been thinking that it would be good if people can change their attitudes
towards the deceased. Honestly speaking,
many Chinese people, including some Buddhists, are doing too little for the
deceased.
In Tibet, there is great emphasis placed on doing recitations for the dying, performing
Buddhist rituals for 49 days after death, handling the corpse and ashes, as
well as the Buddhist rituals to perform for each ensuing anniversary. These
matters are considered very important. On one hand, this is a Tibetan
tradition, but from another angle, it's an indispensable Buddhist act that benefits
the deceased greatly. Chinese people are often sorely lacking such awareness.
When a person dies, the consciousness is pulled out of the body like a hair being
pulled out of butter. He or she departs alone.
At that time, money, status, and possessions
are useless. Only the Dharma is useful.
But many people do not see the importance of benefiting the deceased
with Dharma. I've seen some families who consider that everything is done once
they have disposed of the corpse. It seems
almost as if they were dealing with a pet that had died in their home.
Even worse are people who not only fail to do good deeds for the deceased but follow
some folk customs of killing chickens or livestock for the deceased— not only wasting
their wealth but accumulating negative karma. Many Buddhists act in this way,
let alone non-buddhists. Seeing and hearing about such non-virtuous behaviour is
very disturbing and sad.
I hope that everyone will stop such negative practices in future, striving instead
to bring benefit to the deceased. Otherwise, even though people have gained a
human life and encountered the Dharma, they don't benefit from it at the most crucial
time. This is such a pity.
In future, when you see that someone has died, you should help with the
recitation, not necessarily waiting for an invitation from others, but actively
volunteering. Many people are unwilling to recite for others, which I think is
wrong. These people are very much afraid of death themselves, but they are
indifferent to the deaths of others.
An old saying goes, "When I see others die, my heart burns like fire, not
for others, but to see when it will be my turn." Some people are like
this, when they see others die, they feel anxious as if on fire, but it's not
worry for others, it's fear of death for themselves. In fact, such people
should broaden their minds, caring not only for themselves but also for others.
Of course, death will eventually come to us, so we should prepare in advance.
We should often consider: if death really comes, how should I deal with it? The
manner of death varies: some die in accidents, some in fires, some in floods,
some in earthquakes, some from acute illness, some die slowly from chronic illnesses
plaguing them over the years... In any case, if we prepare in advance, have
some experience and realization of the dharma, we will have more confidence at
the time of death.
How should we help the deceased at the time of death? Below, I will elaborate
on this in detail.
If we want to help at the time of death, organization is essential. Nowadays,
when people die, on the first day, a few Dharma friends gather to do some
recitation, but from the second day onwards, no one goes to chant anymore. Such
lack of organization surely doesn’t work. It should be the responsibility of
family members, relatives, or skilful Buddhists to arrange all the rituals, creating
a rotational schedule of recitation during the 49 days — arranging who will do
recitation on which day. You should not
be even slightly careless about this.
When a fellow practitioner in our monastic academy passes away, arrangements
are coordinated by monastics from the same class year. From the first day of
death, different classes take turns to continuously recite scriptures for 7 days,
while arrangements for 49 days of pujas are commissioned separately.
What I see happening elsewhere is far from this. Many people who die do not
have good arrangements made for them. Laypeople who help in recitation do it
sporadically, chanting only for a day or two, while the deceased's family
members cannot be bothered either. After handling the corpse, they go to the
temple to arrange some pujas perfunctorily, release some animals’ lives, and
then basically stop doing any more merits from then on.
Some people think that Buddhist pujas and offerings for the deceased are not
needed because they think that their family member has passed away peacefully, and
will surely be reborn in the pure realms, so there's no need to arrange many
pujas. This way of thinking is mistaken. Many accomplished masters have pujas done
for them for 49 days after they pass away, so why wouldn't your relatives need
them? If people really care about their
deceased relatives, they must arrange pujas for them.
After someone dies, the corpse must be completely cold before it can be moved or
clothes can be changed. It's best not to touch the deceased for 24 hours. The corpse
should be placed in a clean place. If conditions permit, a room should be
specially allocated for the body. One should continuously do recitations in
that room. After the corpse is removed, continue
to do recitations daily in that same room.
Also, it's best to cover the corpse with cloth. I've seen some corpses without
any covering, and people become fearful when they see the deceased's face. This
is not good.
The setup of the place is also important when performing deliverance for the
deceased. The images of the three deities of Sukhavati, Buddhist scriptures and
stupas should be displayed. Lamps should be lighted for the deceased, generally
7 lamps, but at least one lamp.
The bardo is very terrifying. In the darkness of the bardo, providing lamps for
the deceased brings illumination and a sense of security, so lighting lamps is
very necessary. In Tibet, if a family fails to light lamps for the deceased,
people will say, "Their family is like beggars, not even offering a
lamp."
